Our expert says:
Hello CK !
I know what you mean about loneliness. Sometimes one actually HAS masny people in one's life, but feel isolated fgrom them and others ; sometimes one is indeed largely alone. After the death of my mother, sorting out things, I suddenly realize that except for some younger and nasty relatives that aren't at all close, I'm about all that's left --- certainly I'm the oldest left. SO when I find a photo and wodner who the people in it are, I realize I can't ask anyone, and indeed I'm the one anyone else in the extended family would need to ask such questions.
But the sort of feelings of alienation you describe are more common and distressing than most people realize.
And you make another telling point about the difference between the lives we actually lead, and the convenient fiction other people develop about the lives they assume we lead. And those are self-serving, as their fictional version explains comfortably why they don't need to bother about you.
And yes, if the people you have available to open up to either cant be bothered or, more often, minimise what you're saying because they fear they can't handle it, that's tough.
The situation you describe is one in which ( surprise ! ) I would recommend seeking and engaging in CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) as it would deliver what you're asking for, not only in helping you identify the most fruitful ways of dealing with these feelings of depression and alienation, and of tackling the real as well as the sensation of, isolation. If can be done, and it is rewarding to do so.
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