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Question
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2011-09-20

Agreement

Hi CS and others,
As someone asked, no I am not too tired to answer, I just got the message. I knon I keep doing this and I have tried to break the cycle and thought I had, but I hadn''t. I am working hard at changing and becoming a stronger person in terms of men, but it is as though all strength, will power leaves me when I am faced by a man, sometimes it even feels like I leave the party so to speak, I am no longer a part of what is happening and I don''t know what is being said or done.
I have spoken to this guy and told him he cannot push me around and he definitely cannot sleep over, stay over or move into my home, I am moving alone, if he doesn''t like it I will call the police and if he doesn''t understand it, I will call the police, he doesn''t touch me without my consent. So far so good. He said''s he is afraid of me, that I am going to kill him, I asked him then why doesn''t he just leave me alone, his answer was, he loves me, I don''t get it.
I am sorry that you are all fedup with me, at least you don''t live with me and this mind that is in constant turmoil. My psychologist meant well, she wanted to protect me against him and this was a way out because he will never give up alcohol and with him going to court with me, she knew I wouldn''t have the strength to stand against him.
Anyway let me not bore you all or frustrate you. Take care.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dissociating or going into a trance at the approach of a bad man is of course a highly inconvenient and actually dangerous habit.
Its no use telling him he can't push you around, and then letting him do so. Its no use telling him he can't visit or sleep over and then opening the door to him.
No, it's not : don't touch me without my consent - it's Dont Touch Me. You know you consent unwisely and when you know you shouldn't
Don't accept any of his guff about why he does this because he loves you - what he is doing is NOT love.
I'm sure you understand that we're not all exactly fed up with you, but you're like someone whom repeatedly INSISTS on playing with Rottweilers, and then complains when they bite you. Just stay away from the dog - it's really not that hard. You seem to place too many conditions and qualifications, so you end up making too many bad decisions, instead of one good one. You're like an alcoholic who keeps buying another bottle. Leave him at the bottle store, don't iopen your door to him, and if he tries to get in, call the police and charge him with breaking and entering or whatever

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Regular | 2011-09-20

CS is right, you expect us to watch you whilst u play with vicious dogs and only comment on your bravery!
When you get bitten you expect our sympathy!

How much longer do you expect us to observe without frustration?

Only u can help yourself, you are beyond our help.............

Reply to Regular
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-09-20

Dissociating or going into a trance at the approach of a bad man is of course a highly inconvenient and actually dangerous habit.
Its no use telling him he can't push you around, and then letting him do so. Its no use telling him he can't visit or sleep over and then opening the door to him.
No, it's not : don't touch me without my consent - it's Dont Touch Me. You know you consent unwisely and when you know you shouldn't
Don't accept any of his guff about why he does this because he loves you - what he is doing is NOT love.
I'm sure you understand that we're not all exactly fed up with you, but you're like someone whom repeatedly INSISTS on playing with Rottweilers, and then complains when they bite you. Just stay away from the dog - it's really not that hard. You seem to place too many conditions and qualifications, so you end up making too many bad decisions, instead of one good one. You're like an alcoholic who keeps buying another bottle. Leave him at the bottle store, don't iopen your door to him, and if he tries to get in, call the police and charge him with breaking and entering or whatever

Reply to cybershrink

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