Our expert says:
It sounds as though there could be several varieties of conflict as a background here, such as him insisting that he WON'T go to his father. If his recent bad behaviour is in reaction to something happening within your household, it may indeed improve if he lived for a time with his father - but if not, it may not change. And how would he understand such a move ? Would he see it as a punishment, or an attempt to help ? Would he feel you were abandoning him, or that you were including the support of his dad ?
Is any family counselling practical ? It sounds like a situation in which instituting some clear ground rules for behaviour, including a forbbidding of such violence towards others, is needed, but would work best if carefully planned. And there would need to be a record of transgressions and of occasions where he behaved well, with punishments for the one and rewards for the other. And not physical punishments, or you're giving a hypocritical message that physicial violence is OK, so long as it's you being violent !
What does he enjoy and value, that he might get more of for behaving well, but have withdrawn when he behaves badly ? TV time ? games ? Time out to visit friends ?
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