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Posted by: AGE DIFFERENCE - CAN IT WORK | 2010-08-18

AGE DIFFERENCE - CAN IT WORK

I am 40, he is 25. Been together for 3 years. Now engaged.
Was working well so far. Age is just a number. Scared he might be looking for greener grass once grey hair comes out... LOL.
both are very physical and emotionally healthy. Death does not ask for age, it just come at suprise and take your loved one away. So my motto is - live life to the fullest. Younger or older does not matter.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What I usually say is that emotional maturity is more important than calendar years. If you've been together for 3 years, you've probably had enough time to recognize whether there are any sunstantial problems and to deal with those that have arisen. Again, more important than years are your views on life, hobbies and pastimes. If the younger one wants to party and club every night, and the older one prefers knitting and crossword puzzles, that'd be a problem

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Our users say:
Posted by: Just Me | 2010-08-20

Phil, I don''t agree at all. I was 41 when I met my partner of 29. Now 10 years later we are about to get married. Funny how it was and still is always me that wonders what I''m going to do if the other half still wants to work while I''m retired, certainly NOT the other way around. We have all the papers in order, so don''t even go there if anyones thinking that a younger person would marry someone older for financial reasons! Wev''e had ten years to figure out whether age plays a part at all - and the answer is no. We actually look like the normal age gap. Somehow we seem to grow closer together as the years pass.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Phil | 2010-08-18

Lets not beat around the bush here. Yes for now it is all fine. 10 years down the line you getting ready looking for an old age home,. he will be thinking about fun stuff. The reverse is also tru, male or female. I think Cybershrink has missed the plot on this one. imagine at 35 be involved with an old goat(male or female) of 50! don''t even begin to think about another 10 years down the line, because then you will be looking at your grand father or mother while you still relatively young. No ways, for now it''s fun. But very soon it will catch up,and then grandpa or grandma will be lonley. Sorry, but that''s reality.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: XXX | 2010-08-18

There are many factors that can influence a relationship,a big age difference is just one extra.There is no reason why it cannot work but there is always that niggling feeling that the younger partner might eventually have a problem once you are in your forties and older.
If you work hard at the relationship and keep him satisfied in all departments,then you have a good chance of working.
By the way,I am quite a lot older than my partner and our difference (at this stage) is not a factor at all.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: ANONY | 2010-08-18

THANKS. luckilly he is not into clubs and parties anymore. he had our hiccups. he enjoys karoake and singing and enjoying time with my kids. he enjoys listening to country music and we have same hobbies. we had difficult times in the start with my jeaolousy but not anymore. if he did not love me he would not be with me? thanks you have a great website!

Reply to ANONY
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-08-18

What I usually say is that emotional maturity is more important than calendar years. If you've been together for 3 years, you've probably had enough time to recognize whether there are any sunstantial problems and to deal with those that have arisen. Again, more important than years are your views on life, hobbies and pastimes. If the younger one wants to party and club every night, and the older one prefers knitting and crossword puzzles, that'd be a problem

Reply to cybershrink

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