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Question
Posted by: PILISA | 2012/12/07

age difference

I''M A WOMAN OF 31YRS &  MY FIANCE IS 25YRS HE LIED TO ME ABOUT HIS AGE WHEN WE MET &  NOW WE HAVE A BABY, AND THIS THING IS KILLING ME, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, PLEASE HELP

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi Pilisa
This is not really a question about sexual health, but about the foundation of your relationship. Your love for him suggests that you are highly motivated to sort this problem out. It is not uncommon for a man who is younger than a woman to pretend he is a little older in order to prevent being rejected. It may be worth in an open and non-judgemental way to approach your difficulty with this, as if not resolved, you may find problems with trust in going forward. Either way, the distress that you convey in your question suggests that you must do something about it. You have a baby together, so if necessary go to counseling together to resolve this issue.

SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gratten | 2012/12/12

@ XXX 

His age is not a big deal  the fact that he LIED is a big deal. I''m a guy, AND gay, so from my experience a loyal guy is rare, a regular guy is dubious, and one who lies very, very questionable.

* Age difference: No problem, I''m 30 and been with plenty of older men

* Lying in a relationship: Big problem.

Reply to Gratten
Posted by: XXX | 2012/12/10

Ok so he lied about his age,BIG DEAL.He is still the same person that you love and have had a child with.The age gap is small and provided he loves you both then you are a very fortunate person.
He probably lied to you as he wanted you to feel he was closer to your age.
Stop being petty,there are far bigger issues in life to worry about than something so small.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Gratten | 2012/12/07

Never mind these people saying that " age is just a number."  That is not the issue. If you are happy with him irrespective of his age, then that is fine. What IS the problem is that he lied to you about his age.

If I were you I would confront him and tell him that he had better not lie to me again. He''d better grovel and make sure as hell that he makes it up to you, because if there is one thing that is not good for a relationship, it is LYING.

And what is associated with lying? Cheating. Never mind how you " love him so much."  Make him pay for his lying. If he can''t get his relationship back on track with you, then leave him.

Define your terms, and enforce them.

Reply to Gratten
Posted by: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS | 2012/12/07

Age is but a number. no big deal! To be honest, . It seems to be bothering you a lot more than him. get over it and just enjoy one another''''s company! IF you love each other the i dont forsee a problem
I must say at the I beginning it will difficult, and it not easy for you ladies when you are with ur friends and the topic comes out (Eish, you should hear comments shared about older women dating a younger man). Anyway decided to ignore their comments and see where the relationship will go. society is too conservative but encourage each other to give it a try, you don''''t have to go and share with everyone your age difference. Good luck

Reply to SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Posted by: NELLY | 2012/12/07

im a woman of 31yrs &  my fiance is 25yrs he lied to me about his age when we met &  now we have a baby and this situation is killing me because i think i''ts so embarrasing. pls help with advise.

Reply to NELLY
Posted by: sssssssssssss | 2012/12/07

Nothing wrong with age difference my wife is 31 and am 27 and were have a 2 year old baby girl and life goes on
Just love him and leave the age difference u are not the only and love has no age

Reply to sssssssssssss

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