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Question
Posted by: Nancy | 2012-09-27

Age

I''m a female divorcee and age is a pre-requisite in me agreeing to any relationship proposal . Is it proper to outrightly ask a guy his age during his proposal?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder why you're so sensitive to age ? Its surely not hard to get a generally accurate impression of the age of someone you meet, and to know he's probably left school, or approaching pension. The precise number of years, once you get above the legally required minimum, is always FAR less relevant than the person's social and emotional Maturity, which bears surprisingly little direct correlation with age in years. If they seem pleasant, its usually on the first date or significant period of time spent together, than you can assess their maturity usefully acurately.
If you really feel the need to know the years, you can chat about age-related isues, like what period of music the guy likes best, or his favourite films, and when he first saw them, and in the conversation, ask "By the way, how old are you ?" And be prepared to respond with a pleasant comment about their maturity or something similarly soothing.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-09-29

I wonder why you're so sensitive to age ? Its surely not hard to get a generally accurate impression of the age of someone you meet, and to know he's probably left school, or approaching pension. The precise number of years, once you get above the legally required minimum, is always FAR less relevant than the person's social and emotional Maturity, which bears surprisingly little direct correlation with age in years. If they seem pleasant, its usually on the first date or significant period of time spent together, than you can assess their maturity usefully acurately.
If you really feel the need to know the years, you can chat about age-related isues, like what period of music the guy likes best, or his favourite films, and when he first saw them, and in the conversation, ask "By the way, how old are you ?" And be prepared to respond with a pleasant comment about their maturity or something similarly soothing.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Tanya | 2012-09-27

I''m sure you would be able to gauge the age of anyone who " proposes"  a relationship with you. (Thought proposal always meant a marriage proposal, but to each his own I suppose). If you asked any guy outright and all he was interested in was sex he would probably lie to you anyway.

Think you should be guided by your instincts and if the age difference is obviously outrageous then maybe give him a skip. Otherwise I cant see much problem. Just enjoy your new found freedom, have fun and take care of yourself.

Reply to Tanya

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