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Question
Posted by: assie | 2010-11-19

after sleeping with friend ignores her

Good day

I have been friends with this guy for years. we did not see each other for 5 years. I was married but in the mean time got divorced. he use to call me every day to chat. and say that he wants to commit with me and all other things. last week we had dinner together and afterwards went to his place. we had sex and sleep together. he called me last friday but that was the last. he sms me tuesday to say he is very busy but will chat to me later. i never received a call or sms again. now are start to doubt if it was the right thing to do to sleep with him. did this now broke our friendship. monday i sms him and ask him if he is sorry he said no, but what i cant understand is why he is ignoring me now. must i call him and ask or just leave.

i feel bad about this whole thing now and wish it never happended. i feel dirty and used as i think he got what he wanted all these years. i always use to say no before.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He got what he wanted, and apparently was prepared to say anything he thought you'd want to hear, to get what he wanted. If he has some good and understandable reason not to be able to see you right now, he would have told you so in advance. He sounds like a user, and someone who doesn't deserve your attention or affection.
Purple sums it up excellently

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-11-20

He got what he wanted, and apparently was prepared to say anything he thought you'd want to hear, to get what he wanted. If he has some good and understandable reason not to be able to see you right now, he would have told you so in advance. He sounds like a user, and someone who doesn't deserve your attention or affection.
Purple sums it up excellently

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Lee-Lee | 2010-11-19

Neeeeeeee! moenie hom bel nie! Jy gaan net desperaat lyk. Ek dink: los dit net. Dit is vrek moeilik, ek weet.

Hy wou seker iets hê  wat hy nie kon kry nie en nou dat hy dit gekry het, soek hy dit nie meer nie.

Moenie dit persoonlik opvat nie. Hy is die vark in die verhaal, nie jy nie. Jy het mos nie geweet dat hy so na die tyd gaan reageer nie, so moenie sleg voel nie... as jy geweet het, sou jy mos nie gedoen het wat jy gedoen het nie. So, staan op en skud die stoffies af.

Sterkte en mooi bly!!

Reply to Lee-Lee
Posted by: r8 | 2010-11-19

Don''t call!

Reply to r8
Posted by: Purple | 2010-11-19

It doesn''t sound like he wants any kind of relationship with you, just wants to move from being just friends to friends with benefits (or at least benefits for him).

Phone him and tell him you are upset by the way he''s used you and that you no longer want to continue the friendship and would appreciate it if he doesnt'' contact you anymore unless he intends to pursue a proper relationship with you.

Reply to Purple

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