advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anonymus | 2010/01/24

After efects of rape

Im45yrs,was raped at 16yrs by unknown,married for 27yrs with3 kids,reason for marriage thought I'  ll be secured,told my husband about the rape.Since never felt anything during sex,doing it for my husband to please him,evertime after sex it felt so bad but I continued.had total hysterectomy and informed the gynae about it first time,tried hormonal therapy but never worked,reffered me to sexologist.Im not depressed but feel worried sometimes even when watching porn does not get aroused,most of the times I fake,tried toys,herbs,aphrodisiacs they all do'  t work,Im worried that at my age I have never felt the nice feeling that every one talks about,can anyone help me get a sexologist around Pretoria.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It sounds as though you haven't yet received any therapeutic input for this trauma, or if you have, this didn't focus on it's impact on your sexual function/sexual identity. Given the traumatic early sexual experience, it would be reasonable that you learn to suppress any sexual feelings. This could be addressed through therapy with an appropriately qualified person - can I suggest that you call the SASHA Helpline (0860 100 262 - leave a message and our administrator WILL get back to you. Ask for clinical psychologists/counsellors specialising in sex therapy in Pretoria. I know several names but prefer not to give their details online. Best wishes for you and this work...

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/01/26

It sounds as though you haven't yet received any therapeutic input for this trauma, or if you have, this didn't focus on it's impact on your sexual function/sexual identity. Given the traumatic early sexual experience, it would be reasonable that you learn to suppress any sexual feelings. This could be addressed through therapy with an appropriately qualified person - can I suggest that you call the SASHA Helpline (0860 100 262 - leave a message and our administrator WILL get back to you. Ask for clinical psychologists/counsellors specialising in sex therapy in Pretoria. I know several names but prefer not to give their details online. Best wishes for you and this work...

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Woman | 2010/01/24

My dear, something terrible happened when you were young. You must realise though, that you are the one who is giving that rapist the power of remembrance.You are allowing him to still have power over you after all these years. The only person who can take your power back, is you! You are the only one who can decide to take your life back.

I would suggest going for NLP ( Neurolinguistic programming) What they do, is to " reprogramme"  your brain, so that the triggers that is causing you to switch off when you make love, changes. Try that first, before you visit a sexologist.

You deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your sex life, same as everyone else! I think it' s brilliant that you are aware and that you want to change it. Good luck, it' s not half as hard as you think it is!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: jason | 2010/01/24

I am saddened to hear of your ordeal, the evil that people can do and the way it effects one' s life forever. i think you should seek psychological counselling and work through your ordeal, stay away from rubbish like porn. i wish you peace and healing and hope you find closure.

Reply to jason

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement