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Question
Posted by: dw | 2011/03/03

after communication.... silence

Been seeing this guy for 4 months and there has been a few little things worrying me like work is his priority, he has no idea what is going on in my life and doesnt ask, his parents show no interest, he is an extreme extrovert where I am an introvert and now is throwing this at me as though it is a flaw. Well last night I thought to bring up all my concerns and he basically flew off the handle and told me he doesnt have time for this now (when is a good time to talke about issues?) and refused to talk about it further. He said the way he works, is to listen, calm down and then speak to me in a kind manner. I refuse to call him today as the ball is in his court. It just feels that I must either fit into his lifestyle, or basically get lost. I like him, but at the age of 47 he is hard work!! He says he knows what it takes to make a relationship work, but does he or is it me???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people, men or women, are indeed focussed on their careers, and that's not a bad thing, if that is what he wants. At 47, everyone is set in their ways, and unlikely to change their long-term habits, espeecially merely because someone else wants them to be different. Why did you start, and why have you persisted in a relationship you find so unsatisfying ? Why not love on ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2011/03/03

I hope I do not sound mean, but from what you say about the relationship you sound somewhat needy. As you know people NEVER change. Its compounded by his age. He is set in his ways. He probably has had previous problematic relationships because of his attitude and he is happy with it. Unless you take your pride and hide it and knuckle down to his domineering manner, you will always be on the back foot. Use your life, the only one we get, and find someone who is more suited to your personality. You are not going to change and neither will he.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: Eish | 2011/03/03

Eish nawe what are you doing with such an old man..

Reply to Eish
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/03

Some people, men or women, are indeed focussed on their careers, and that's not a bad thing, if that is what he wants. At 47, everyone is set in their ways, and unlikely to change their long-term habits, espeecially merely because someone else wants them to be different. Why did you start, and why have you persisted in a relationship you find so unsatisfying ? Why not love on ?

Reply to cybershrink

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