Our expert says:
Separation may at times be wise, but it's not primarily a way to actally sort out the problems that exist within a couple - marriage counselling is more likely to be useful in identifying and specifically working on the acknowledged problems.
Especially in the more complex situaion your describe, the assistance of a neutral and experienced counsellor could be crucial to enable you both to either work this all out satisfactorily, or decide to end the relationship more amicably and sensibly, and with a reduced chance of making the same mistakes again
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