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Question
Posted by: mouse | 2010/12/22

affair!

should i walk away or wait and see if he leaves her. i have to see him everyday at work and he is my director. he says he wants his cake and cupcake on the side.
but i cant leave my job for 6 months.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How often do we point out the very significant risks of love affairs in the workplace ? If he is really saying what you quote, and using his position as Director to string along both you and the other woman and to pressure you into having sex with him, that's not merely sleazy but probably sexual harrassment and specifically forbidden by law. Is there some more senior person in the company you could discuss with situation with ? And maybe get some legal advice, too.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cupcake | 2011/01/06

Get away from him as soon as you can ... stop being the other woman ... that is all you will ever be .. nothing more .... remember what he does to his wife, he will do to you too ... I was also a cupcake at one stage, today he is still happily married and I am divorced and lonely ... not worth it. Show him the finger, dump his sorry a** and move on ... he is not worth it .. he will bring you nothing but tears and heartache .... and a bad name if it ever came out at work !!!

Reply to Cupcake
Posted by: oh no | 2010/12/23

Fly away cupcake, fly away

End the affair, make sure he understands that if he tries to make your work life difficult you will scream sexual harassment or even call his wife - ONLY if he doesn''t agree to end the affair amicably.
You just want to work, be happy and move on with your love life to someone who isn''t wasting your precious time and your beautiful youth.

Then what...? What happens if he does leave her... for you.... he''ll be screwing his next employee before long anyway. Look long-term and every which way: this is not the way for YOU.

You deserve the BEST beautiful, so dump his a$$ and go get the best.

Reply to oh no
Posted by: HaHa | 2010/12/23

You are what is often referred to as the " Piece" . NO WAY he is going to leave his wife and family. You must be joking !!! You are so stupid like so many other females that actually think they " mean something"  to a married man. You are a piece on the side, that''s it, nothing more nothing less. Hope he buys you stuff? If he was not getting it from you he would have had to pay a prostitute for the same services, Yes, I am a man, I know

Reply to HaHa
Posted by: Wake up! | 2010/12/22

I think you''ve summed it up youself by saying " he says he wants his cake and cupcake on the side."  How much louder do you want him to shout it? He''s not planning on leaving her any time soon, so wake up and smell the roses!

Reply to Wake up!
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/12/22


Mmmh, settling for less in life are we? I''d say work on your self esteem first.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: lin | 2010/12/22

are you having an affair with a colleague hoping he will leave his wife for you? it''s not going to happen

Reply to lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/22

How often do we point out the very significant risks of love affairs in the workplace ? If he is really saying what you quote, and using his position as Director to string along both you and the other woman and to pressure you into having sex with him, that's not merely sleazy but probably sexual harrassment and specifically forbidden by law. Is there some more senior person in the company you could discuss with situation with ? And maybe get some legal advice, too.

Reply to cybershrink

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