Posted by: raylene | 2009-07-14

advise pls

My inlaws are very racist towards me and i feel going out with the son is just to defeat them in showing that i am still his girlfriend.They make nasty remarks but he sometimes also defends me. i detest his family wholeheartedly and sometimes he can even be nasty to take their side. i think im still with him to prove a point because i feel i dont get any emotional support from him unless in the bedroom. He is staying in an outbuilding by his mother but she is still around and has her say of sarcasm.i do think that i need him for financial support but sometimes think i am bluffing myself for his alcohol habits spending lots of money which has been discussed over again and again. i fl like having this man around is by being desperate.scared of being alone.unfortunately i wasnt a star pupil at school and is basicly in a rut.i fl if i leave him il be alone and single..i tried chatsite but its so tiring to search for a good person just by chatting. it is not safe.and they stay in other places where i am not willing to move to. where i am staying you hardly see any guys or are hardly available.i dont know. You tell me pls.

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Our expert says:
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Such relationships do get complex, and one may indeed sometimes fall into the trap of continuing them not because they would otherwise seem like a great idea, but because you want to defy those who oppose it. This doesn't sound like a satisfying relationship overall, nor one you would enjoy remaining in, if it were not for defying the opposition. Do you really need his financial support ? That makes this a commercial rather than an emotional relationship. And if you're scared of being alone, maybe some counselling would help you deal with that without placing yourself at risk of unhappiness with someone who may not really care about you.

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