advertisement
Question
Posted by: Botlhoko | 2010/01/07

Advise please

I am 37 year old professional guy in love with a 35 old women, I love this women dearly and intent marrying her, since she is still unemployed I have taken the responsibility of assisting her and her daughter financially. The problem is she is always drinking alcohol in public places and her excuse will be she is bored since she has nothing to do during the day, I have tried to show her alternatives that can keep her busy but she does not take me serious, when drunk she is very rude with me. Do I marry this women hoping that she will change one day or what do I do, she does not even seem to appreciate things I am doing for her.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why would you want to marry an alcoholic who habitually gets drunk in public ? And by assisting her financially, you are paying for her alcoholism and supporting and encouraging it. being bored is no excuse whatsoever, and if she can't find anything more useful to do with herself during the day, she'd make a very poor sort of wife.
If you marry her foolishly expecting her to :"change some day" one can almost guarantee that you will be bitterly disappointed - alcoholics rarely change, and NEVER change when there is no compelling reason to do so. And she's not appreciative ?
"Loving" someone in this way is bad for them as well as for you. If she is not very seriously and sincertely prepared to work with a shrink and an ongoing rehab program to stop drinking altogether and find a more wholesome way to spend her days, you could both be nheaded for chronic misery

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2010/01/07

Wake up, this drunkard is USING you, are you blind????

She is taking advantage of your nature, DONT marry her. get RID of her.

Regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/07

Why would you want to marry an alcoholic who habitually gets drunk in public ? And by assisting her financially, you are paying for her alcoholism and supporting and encouraging it. being bored is no excuse whatsoever, and if she can't find anything more useful to do with herself during the day, she'd make a very poor sort of wife.
If you marry her foolishly expecting her to :"change some day" one can almost guarantee that you will be bitterly disappointed - alcoholics rarely change, and NEVER change when there is no compelling reason to do so. And she's not appreciative ?
"Loving" someone in this way is bad for them as well as for you. If she is not very seriously and sincertely prepared to work with a shrink and an ongoing rehab program to stop drinking altogether and find a more wholesome way to spend her days, you could both be nheaded for chronic misery

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement