Our expert says:
You should take a legal opinion here, but some would consider that the surgeon acted wrongly in performing some sort of sterilization without the knowledge and consent of the husband --- in fact I would so much expect the surgeon to ask to speak with the husband in such a situation, that I wonder whether she very specifically forbade him to do so, and that her actions were very deliberate and planned. It goes beyond the very bad manners which it was. Readers are keen to inist that it's not all about you, but it's not all about her, either. As regards having children or not so, this affects both of you, and is at the heart of a marriage. IF there were overwhelming medical reasons to prevent further pegnancies, to safeguard her life, obvously that should take precedence. If you were both involved in the discussion and decision, and she firmly wanted sterilization and you didn't, then maybe her view would in the end prevail. But to do this secretly, deliberately excluding you from discussion and from the decision, could be seen as acting in bad faith.
YOu don't mention, though, whether this has been discussed and perhaps argued abou between you for some time, and that she then made up her own mind and acted, or whether this was entirtelty secet and sprung on you as a surprize.
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