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Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2009-07-10

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Huby and I are married for 6 years. He was married before I met him and had a son. Ever since we dated and been married I neva saw the son nor the ex wife, cause she wants nothing to do with him. Although he said she cheated on him. So its been about 12 years now that he didnt she his son, although he did' nt show that he had a problem with it, we have a 6 year old son. Now ehy I am so upset ia, that my brother in law made contact with the ex-wife, cause he missis his nepfew. It did' nt bother my husband all these years, so why now, like they say in afrikaans ( hoekom slapende honde wakker maak) Hubby said he wont make an effort only if she brings the child, cause she kept him awy. from him. We just bought a house, and now this problem, Ex wife phoned on brother in laws phone and motherin law spoke to, to which I have a very good relationship. And Im upset cause she did' nt tell me about the phone call. Now all of a sudden after years ex wife wants to visit, why Now. I don' t know how to deal with it. I don' t want this child or husband in my life. Am I being disgusting

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Our expert says:
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Well, maybe the ex-wife cheated on him, but unless I misunderstood what you said, he also cheated on her, with you, so both were in the wrong. It's also sad hat for 12 yars he apparently had no interest in seeing his son, even if it were only for the son's benefit. Sounds like one of those very sad situations when a divorced couple are prepared to damage the kids in order to be spiteful towards each other. Why on earth should any of you want an innocent child to suffer because of biter feelings between the adults ? Sounds like you, and your husband, and maybe earlier on the ex, too, have been selfish and not thought of the main and most important question --- what would be best for the boy ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2009-07-10

Maybe she heard we bought a new house and thinks he has money, I dont know. maybe I am being selfish

Reply to Flower 1980
Posted by: Wendy | 2009-07-10

If you and your husband got divorced, wouldn' t you want your husband and your son to continue to have a good relationship? Maybe the ex has realised her mistake and is trying to make amends by wanting her son to have his father in his life. I think you are being extremely selfish to not want that for your husband.

Reply to Wendy

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