Our expert says:
Hi misty bird,
I'm not certain I fully understand your message. If you and your partner have a child together, the best interests of the child have to be the most important factor in how you raise the child. Former lovers of either partner should be utterly irrelevant. Former partners should remain former.
Child-rearing is a serious task and duty but is never "strictly business" as emotion are inevitably, naturally and usefully involved.
It sounds as though there are broader issues and problems between you, such that you would benefit from seeing couples counsellor together, both to seek to sort out your personal problems, and to ensure thse problems don't interfere with your ability to care optimally for your child.
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