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Question
Posted by: Anon 2 | 2008/09/22

Advice pls

Hi,
I am a 24yr old mother of a baby of 9 months and i live with her father (my bf). We have been together for almost 4 yrs. We both hav good jobs and a stable home. For the past yr or so things have been changing. My bf has started drinking heavily and stays out all night. He is unable to stop drinking when he has had enough, he just carries on until he cant anymore. He becomes a dif person wen drunk and is ugly and says nasty things. Now we have bn on a break for wk and he is back home. He doesnt not show that he has missed me or that he cares much although he says he does. He says that things aren' t as fun anymore etc..etc. He has had some issues in his family as he is a very family orientated person, which could make him like this. How do i get past this and how do we get the respect bck 4 each other? He says he loves me and wants to be with me. How can i balance being a mother as well as a good gf and make him happy. Bec of the things he has sd to me and his drinking i hav lost respect for him but stil love him &  want to wrk this out. And how can we both work together to sort this out..what can we do together that could fix this and bring us together again. We have the most beautiful baby girl who depends on us and we want to be a family.
Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So your bf has a serious drinking problem, and needs expert help with this, even if he isn't keen to recogmize that. Don't accept the blame for things not working out well. Persuade him to join you in relationship counselling, and work on all these issues together. Its not just about you making him happy, but also about him making you happy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Big C | 2008/09/23

Back home?????

Now that is my problem just there, how does a man run away from his problem. he should have stayed and resoved it than packing and just going. Please don' t get me wrong but i would want my man to be a man and face his problems. Girl are you willing to marry this guys cause he sounds like he has access baggage.

Like the doctor said seek proffesional help. these are warning signs we often ignore.

Reply to Big C
Posted by: Anon 55 | 2008/09/23

I really think this guy doesn' t deserve you because first of all you said you had a break for a week where was he staying for that week? was he calling you nor see the baby? honestly i don' t think you need him in your life because he' ll leave you if the time comes just forget about him because his drinking to drown his sorrows or misery that his in, now you not breathing for yourself or him but for your baby i know that love will always be there but if things don' t work out get out

Reply to Anon 55
Posted by: Sg | 2008/09/22

He definately does not sound like a " family orientated person"  to me.How can he treat you the way he does if this is the case ! His drinking appears to be a symptom of your relationship.Quite clearly he needs to seek professional help with his drinking habit AND the 2 of you need to see a marriage counsellor.
You have a child to consider.Living with an alcoholic is a no brainer and needs to be resolved urgently.

Reply to Sg

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