advertisement
Question
Posted by: exhausted | 2011/04/18

advice please

Hi, I''m a single Mother, of 2 beautiful baby girls. 3 yr old and 11 month old.
I am exhausted, completely, physically, mentally, emotionally.
He isn''t interested in seeing the girls so I am with them constanly with the excpetion of our work and day care daily breaks. I am constantly shouting, and then feel guilty because I lost my temper. I have gone on to parent24 but am not finding the forum.
what I am really looking for is advice on what tea, vitamins, something I can add or remove from my diet that will give me that extra, lift, NO medication suggests please. I don''t really have the funds for a babysitter and don''t want to bother family with babysitting so I just need something that will keep me going

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Having children can be enormously exhausting, however much you love them, and however much of a splendid mom you are. Indeed, if you don't get exhausted sometimes, maybe you're not trying hard enough ! When you say "he isn't interested" I gather that the father of both girls is showing no interest in them ? That's disgraceful on his part, but, if he is this disinterested, no great loss to them. But make SURE you go to the maintenance court and have the court decide and enforce how much maintenance he must pay for the children's care and expenses until they are independent. Don't be to proud to do this, which will help him to realize and remember his responsibility to them and you. And the maintenance he pays should include some funds for babysitting, for the benefit of you all.
Being under stress, of course you get irritable at times an then feel bad about that.
Don't feel bad about "bothering" your family about baby-sitting. Its not, presumably, someting you'd want them to do for long periods every day, but shorter or less frequent periods would enable you to have some time for yourself and for relaxing. Thats one of the things a family is for.
I think the parenting forum should still be around, so hunt for it, as they may have many other useful tips, as may other readers here, perhaps tomorrow, too.
I agree that medication is not the best option. If you become significantly depressed ( Post Natal Depression is a genuine problem ) then it must be properly diagnosed and drug treatment would help you heal from it. But otherwise, I don't think medication is the best option.
Rest is probably the best treatment, however ingenious you need to be to get more of it. Tea is a mild stimulant that suits many peopple better than cofee. Vitamins contribute nothing unless your diet is poor or you are otherwise vitamin deficient, when ordinary supplements would be enough to help. Generally, diet changes don't make much difference.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Exhausted | 2011/04/19

Thank you Gill, :-) that''s pretty easy lol

Reply to Exhausted
Posted by: Gill | 2011/04/18

Hi Exhausted

If you look at the top of this page and click on Community then Parenting chatline, and post your comment there, you will find loads of Mom''s who offer support and advise.

Reply to Gill
Posted by: Chloe | 2011/04/18

There is nothing wrong with asking family to help out every so often. It''s not like you are going to dump them for ever and a day, it''s just an afternoon or a Saturday so that you can have some " you time" . It''s not wrong, and it will help you not to shout and get irritated with the children. I really think you need to reconsider not asking your family. Give yourself a break and let your hair down a little.

Reply to Chloe
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/18

Having children can be enormously exhausting, however much you love them, and however much of a splendid mom you are. Indeed, if you don't get exhausted sometimes, maybe you're not trying hard enough ! When you say "he isn't interested" I gather that the father of both girls is showing no interest in them ? That's disgraceful on his part, but, if he is this disinterested, no great loss to them. But make SURE you go to the maintenance court and have the court decide and enforce how much maintenance he must pay for the children's care and expenses until they are independent. Don't be to proud to do this, which will help him to realize and remember his responsibility to them and you. And the maintenance he pays should include some funds for babysitting, for the benefit of you all.
Being under stress, of course you get irritable at times an then feel bad about that.
Don't feel bad about "bothering" your family about baby-sitting. Its not, presumably, someting you'd want them to do for long periods every day, but shorter or less frequent periods would enable you to have some time for yourself and for relaxing. Thats one of the things a family is for.
I think the parenting forum should still be around, so hunt for it, as they may have many other useful tips, as may other readers here, perhaps tomorrow, too.
I agree that medication is not the best option. If you become significantly depressed ( Post Natal Depression is a genuine problem ) then it must be properly diagnosed and drug treatment would help you heal from it. But otherwise, I don't think medication is the best option.
Rest is probably the best treatment, however ingenious you need to be to get more of it. Tea is a mild stimulant that suits many peopple better than cofee. Vitamins contribute nothing unless your diet is poor or you are otherwise vitamin deficient, when ordinary supplements would be enough to help. Generally, diet changes don't make much difference.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement