Posted by: Leez | 2009-07-13

Advice please

Gonna shorten this to alleviate boredom..

At the moment, serious issues between myself, MIL and her daughters. I totally ignore them and have never been happier. Husband aware of the conflict and has always stood by me, by choice.
Now. It' s FIL' s b-day on Thursday and the darling MIL has called to invite us for supper. This after, a month ago, my daughter and I felt like total strangers in her home while attending her brat eldest granddaughter' s b-day (SIL' s kid). Phoned her thereafter to have a nice chat about all this ugliness, but she denies any problems - in other words, my daughter and I should just " get with the program" . I told her, I have no choice but to distance myself from her family, for the sake of my and my children' s happiness.
My plan for Thursday is to pop around after work and go and wish him and that' s that. Am I right?

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Our expert says:
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Be wary of people who assume everyone else on earth must simply get with THEIR program, and that they never need to even recognize anyone else's program. Its reasonable for you to visit the FIL to give him good wishes, maybe even invite him for coffee, drinks, a meal, whatever, with you, and explain that she makes you and your daughter feel so unwelcome and uncomfortable when you visit, that though you are fond of him, you don't want to attend the planned dinner, but that this is not out of any form of disrespect for him.

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