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Question
Posted by: Tania | 2012/07/07

Advice on negativity

Hi Doctor

I would like some advice regarding depression and negativity.

I have always been a negative person, it''s just part of my personality and what comes naturally to me, I have tried everything to stay positive, but I always just revert to finding something wrong or something to complain about, even though everything is going well, I don''t know why. If something bigger happens, I would naturally feel down and sad and a little depressed, like me being retrenched three weeks back, and I know it''s due to them not liking my personality, they even told me that in so many words. I have tried my best to make friends, but I am just not a people''s person and people aren''t really interested in being my friend. I struggle to always look friendly so people can like me, I am a more serious person who works better with facts than smalltalk. I don''t want to just go to a shrink, I know there isn''t much anyone can do to change my personality so that I am suddently likeable, and I am not really very keen to look at using a type of pill, but I was just wondering if there are any type of light medication that can help, not like a hectic type of anti-depression medication, but maybe something light that doesn''t have many side-effects? If there is, I won''t mind going to see a shrink, but otherwise it won''t help much to one to help me be a more positive person.

Thanks for your help.

Tania

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is just the sort of situation in which I usually recommend a specific form of psychotherapy / counselling called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ), where there's a lot of good evidence that its effective, and it is especially good at identifying and helping you to change persistent habits of thought and behaviour, like your negative thinking and depression. It would also help you to learn better social skills - not changing at all who you are, but how you relate to other people, so as to get along better.
A psychologist could be very helpful to you here, if they use this modern technique - its not a question of changing your basic personality, but of changing how you express that personality, and that IS practical to achieve.
And do come back to us on the forum and let us know how you grow and improve with CBT.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Digital_Sex®  | 2012/07/08

< Tania> 
I know what you mean. I use to be something like that but my main influence was my home situation. But what I realized is that you have the opportunity in your life to decide who you want to be and how you want people to see you. If you want people to see your better side then you can start to show them your good and genuine side.

There is nothing wrong about seeing the facts and being realistic as it comes in handy when you need to make important decisions in your life and gives your life some guidance. But like that age-old saying –  there is a time and place for everything. So when you are going out with friends and you are very budget orientated about spending and your friends are not, just make sure that you know the time of the event and put some money aside and that money that you put aside you can spend like crazy (this is assuming that your friends like spending and having a nice time without a care for tomorrow).

It’ s not that difficult to be positive thought, all you need to know and understand what control you have over things in your life and to accept that you can’ t control everything.
Let go and let life be and let your life be positive.

…  Digital_Sex® 

Reply to Digital_Sex&#174&nbsp;
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/07

This is just the sort of situation in which I usually recommend a specific form of psychotherapy / counselling called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ), where there's a lot of good evidence that its effective, and it is especially good at identifying and helping you to change persistent habits of thought and behaviour, like your negative thinking and depression. It would also help you to learn better social skills - not changing at all who you are, but how you relate to other people, so as to get along better.
A psychologist could be very helpful to you here, if they use this modern technique - its not a question of changing your basic personality, but of changing how you express that personality, and that IS practical to achieve.
And do come back to us on the forum and let us know how you grow and improve with CBT.

Reply to cybershrink

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