Posted by: desperate | 2009-02-09


Well to just give some history. My husband was molested by his mother since the age of 7. I met him about 8 years ago and when I met him he actually had such an outlook on life that he thought all woman was there to sexually please him. He started changing whereby he would treat me with respect because I made sure from day 1 he had to know I am not into the darker side of that area....for instance porn. I don' t approve. About 2 years into the marraige he cheated on me. We were unfortunate enought to go to a counselour to work through the problems but the counselour said It was because I was the " parent"  in the relationship and he was a kid and wanted to go agains my rules. Wel now Friday I found out that he molested my daughter two years ago when se was 12. He admitted it. It happended once and it wasn' t intercourse. I am totally freaked out. I have made it clear that he is not to get close to both my daughters and that he is sick. He started crying and said he cannot help himself that he has inpure thought about woman. I don' t know what to do. I said he must make an appointment with a psychologist, he is not to come close to my daughters or be alone with them. and I will make sure of that. But knowing his history there is 10 % that wants to help him. But I cannot fight the 60% that want to kill him. I am unsure as how to handle this. I said to him in front of my 14year old that I love her more than I will ever love him and that what he did was disgusting and wrong and I also said to her that it is not her fault. But how do I deal with this.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like the counsellor was working from old-fashioned and over-simplified ways of interpreting what happened, and ignoring his history of child abuse. There is a higher incidence of abusing in people who have been abused, sadly, though only in the case of a minority of the abused. Of course he can help himself, though he should not deal with this on his own, but by working with a properly trained psychologist and not just an amateur counsellor. You can help him best by encouraging him to get into therapy and to persist with it. And seeing a therapist. counsellor yourself may be wise, to help you work through your own felings here, and to develop better watys of coping and handling this difficult situation.

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Posted by: blubcuppons | 2011-03-08

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Posted by: Yeah ! Do it | 2009-02-09

Sorry about that. Wow what a piece of work he is !! I agree, just get rid of him. He is DANGEROUS ! These people have something missing in their make up. It cannot be replaced, so they will always be like the way they are. Why put your girls in fiurther danger ? Surely you have absolutely no feelings left for him? Get going !! and Good Luck to you.

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Posted by: WTF | 2009-02-09

Sorry girl, but get this useless piece of rubbish as far away from you and your girls as possible. He is nothing less than a bloody paedophile with pathetic excuses (mommy molested him) - pleeez! Good for you to have taken a stance not to let him near your girls, but unfortunately damage has already been done to your one girl. Tell this sorry-|-junk that if he ever comes near one of the kids again, you will go to the police asap. Get your child urgent help to work through her feelings - IT DOES NOT MATTER if he had intercourse with her! Fact is he can' t keep his hands off children!! NOBODY can help a paedophile. They cannot be rehabilitated and will always go back to their ways. I don' t care how many times his mother, aunt, uncle, granny or who ever molested him. This is no excuse to ruin someone else' s life. Kick him out, get a restraining order (protection order) from your local police and let him " help"  himself. Don' t help him and don' t ever give him the opportunity to get near your kids again. You did the right thing .. now stop feeling sorry for this worthless piece of rubbish!

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