Posted by: ZukiBoy | 2013-01-13

Advice - from both sexes point of view

Morning guys of the forum.i have recently gone through an experience, and i am battling with my brains,on how i can interpret the whole episode.I will try and make it very simplified.

Around September last year, i met this beautiful,stunning lady through one of the internet dating sites.We immediately hit it off and were in contact almost every single day,gradually developing some kind of a " bond" ,and a feeling of mutual attraction with each other.i am from the Seychelles originally,but i live here in South Africa,and she lives in Seychelles.Days and months went by and because i was visiting Seychelles on my holiday,that was going to be a good time for us to get to know each other in person.

Just before December, she sent me a list of the gifts she wanted me to buy her,which included among others,perfumes,clothes,jewelry and most notably, a diamond ring to put on her finger.This list did raise my eyebrows.Because we hadn''t met before, i found it a little bit too much for someone to ask for all these expensive stuff.Was i wrong in raising an eyebrow?

So,i did not promise her the things but i told her IF,time and resources permit,i will " make a plan" .I did not buy the gifts, however.

I went to Seychelles in December.This woman was even more beautiful than what i had seen on the internet.I almost hit my head for not having bought the gifts.Of the three weeks i was over there, we met only twice.Each time i requested to see her, she had reasons for us not to meet.For example,that her maid was absent and she had the baby to look after (she has a 4 year old baby boy).because am also a parent and i understood her situation, i didn''t make much of an issue that she couldn''t get enough time for us, but having chatted for a couple of months on the net, sleepless nights and endless Skypes, i was expecting that we wold have had more time person to person,that never happened.

in the two days we met,we looked like really a hot couple.We had all the romantics in place,held hands,wined and dined,enjoyed some really beautiful boat rides together etc etc.It was a bang.Almost a dream come true,that''s how i saw it.To me, i thought i had met the lady of my dream.This was the most definitely the one.I did not hold back at all when it came to making " my woman"  happy.

However, things took a turn a few days before my departure.She told me that she was " dissapointed"  with me.That i was not the easy going person she thought i was.That if i couldn''t buy her her gifts, how will i be able to look after her.She held me against the gifts that she asked the two days that we spent together, she seemed to judge and conclude about me.When i told her " i thought we had some fun" ,she said " yes we did,but it''s not what she was expenting" .She told me i am cheap (that really hurt.I was lost!!.The same woman that i thought was so in love with me started giving me a cold shoulder.she stopped responding to my whatsap messages.Basically she cut the contact between us,now her maid is back but she has some family members visiting her place and she can not be able to see me among other reasons.

I left Seychelles with a Whtsap goodbye from her, and up until now,i have been put " on hold" .She messaged me the other day to tell me she needs to think about us,and will let me know when she makes up her mind.I was shocked because i thought we had something going on there.I thought she really liked me at least if not love me.On the other hand,i was slowly starting to fall head over heels with this woman. We had made it clear that should we meet each other, and not like each other,that we will not waste each others time.That we will be honest and tell each other exactly how we feel.

I need help understanding what has just happened to me.I have always thought of myself as a strong person but i am completely not able to put a finger on to this one.i am lost in a web of questions,asking myself whether this was for real?from the start?i love this woman, and i think she knows it, but i am hurting, and her attitude tells me she doesn''t care too much about how i feel.Please make me put some logic into this guys.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The others, especially Liza, are right. She's a shameless gold-digger, almost to the point of unofficial prostutition - getting you involved as a source of gifts. Dump her promptly. She doesn't deserve any of your love, and if you think you feel love for her, it'll be for who you think she is and hope she is, not for who she actually is.
faced with her gross greed, I wouldn't have just raised by eyebrows, I'd have had to chase them round the room to get them back. She doesn't care at all for you, only for your potential as a source of cash and gifts. Her reaction when you didn't eagerly buy her the ridiculous list of things she wants, proves that beyond any possible doubt. She will never be honest with you, and will totally lose interest in you if you either lost all your money or decided not to give any of it to her.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ZukiBoy | 2013-01-14

Thank you all for your input.The first red flag for me came up when she asked me for the gifts, with specifics.I did not want to judge her there and then but then again me meeting her almost complicated things,in the sense that i fell flat for this woman.Its a very sad affair because it really felt like this was true the bid to wanting to know more about her,i had ignored the fact that on our first date she had also thrown a tantrum about the gift issue.This episode was short and brief,but it was truly a lesson for me.Its such a pity.I will try and shake her off my head and move on.We took all those beautiful photos but when i look at them,i can''t help but feel as if i have been played,and had it not for the fact that i was coming back to SA,i would have probably spent even more on her.To me,everything i was doing,was going to do for love,but when i look back,it appears as if she would have taken full advantage of my gentlemanly.iI would have suffered even a bigger heartbreak.I am glad that i didn''t get exploited further.However,lesson learnt.

Reply to ZukiBoy
Posted by: Liza | 2013-01-14

I agree with Maria. This woman is a gold digger only out for what she can get. I mean REALLY! Demanding expensive gifts without having met?!? No self-respecting woman would expect what this woman expects.

You''re not in love with this woman. You''re in love with the person you THINK she is. Not the person she actually is.

Don''t give up on trying to find the right person for you. She is out there somewhere, you just need to keep looking for a little while longer. Trying to settle for someone who isn''t right - just because you don''t want to be alone, can be the worst mistake anyone could make.

Good Luck,

Reply to Liza
Posted by: ME | 2013-01-14

She is definately a Golg Digger and she doesnt even hide it! You need to move on and forget about her.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Maria | 2013-01-13

I''m sorry Zukiboy but this woman sounds like a gold digger. She strung you along hoping you would buy her lots of stuff and when you didn''t, well she lost interest. You are really better off without her.

Reply to Maria

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