Posted by: Fllo Sanders | 2009-09-30

Advice for husband to " deal"  with wife diagnosed Bipolar(manic depressive)

My husband does not know how to " deal"  with my condition and as a result flings comments around that result in arguments, publicy humiliates me, implies " its imaginary" , excuse to " pop pills"  etc etc etc. I find that I am not " fighting back"  anymore. I no longer work, have no transport, spend my time in the garden, doing housework and feel so cut off, almost " just existing"  and financially dependent on my husband a fact that is repeatedly flung at me (to keep me in my place?). I embaress him socially and have no social life of my own. His family wants him to divorce me.

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Our expert says:
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I wish more shrinks recognized it as part of their duty to meet with and discuss with the spouse of their patients, the nature of the illness and how to help deal with it. In this day and age, it is unaceptable for any spouse to deny the reality of bipolar disorder or to insist it is "imaginary". Maybe the anxiety-Depression Support group would be a useful resource for you. And dissuss these issues with your shrink, to work out the best ways for you to respond.
If a divorce may arise, make sure you get a good lawyer who can make it clear that as it arises from his uncaring refusal to acknowledge your serious illness, he must be penalized by the court and required to pay full support so you can get proper care and treatment.
And, thinking of Liza's quote, I've always been puzzled by the fools who, confronted with someone else's psych illness complain that "it's all in the head" --- where on earth else should it me ? That's like complaining that the pain of appeldicitis is "all in the appendix". Well, duh, so what ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-09-30

Wow! Sounds like you' re married to my ex-husband! If his family wants him to divorce you - I almost want to say that they have YOUR best interests at heart. Even after months of counseling, my ex-husband still maintained that it was ' all in my head'  and that I could overcome it with a little bit of self discipline. I could have spared myself a lot of pain if I had divorced him sooner. You deserve to have a partner who accepts you just as you are.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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