Our expert says:
Why would he bother to buy an alarm clock when he only has to set Mom to wake him each morning ? By this stage, by continuing to try to protect him from the natural consequences of his chosen ( but not compulsory ) laziness and irresponsibility, you are encouraging it. Take away his games privileges - if he protests that he is an adult, say you'll believe that when yopu see him behaving like and adult, and until he is qualified and earning enough to pay for the electricity, you control what he does with it, and games are, in his situation, worse than useless. Without consoles and game boxes and computer - maybe without electricity in his room, how does he manage to continue playing ? And no food at all unless he gets to college on time and gets a good report from them. Lock the fridge and cupboards if necessary. Not a cent for any expenditure outside the home, no new clothes, etc.till he earns the cash AFTER repaying your college fee loan. And he starts with a part-time job AS WELL as college asap.
I love Purple's point that by emphasizing the wide choice of gruesome jobs only possibly available to him with his self-chosen lousy qualifications, you will be drawing his attention to the future he is choosing.
And yes, a roster of chores at home in the meantime to help pay for his board and lodging.
Also mention that you hope he is making alternative plans for his future, because if he gets expelled from the college, he will have to move out from your home and fend for himself. And repay the tuition fees you paid for him, which he is now effectively stealing from you.
Read up, online, about Tough Love.
Stepmom and the others are quite right ; you are, through misplaced love, serving as an enabler, unwittingly encouraging him to live as a predatory bum.
Where is his father, and why is he playing no part in this ?
Be strong and fierce, and that'll be the most loving thing you can do for this large child
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