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Question
Posted by: Zoe | 2010-04-13

admission - first steps

Hi<br>My friend (an alcoholic for about 10 years+) has finally admitted that she has a problem and that she needs help. This is after many attempts (and now one/two ultimatums) by friends over the years to get her to stop/go for help.<br><br>She has started losing friends because of her drinking, her friends'' kids may now only sleep over under supervision, she has had cancer, and it has had an impact on her career. There is also severe memory impairment. <br><br>My immediate concern is that she drives intoxicated - to such an extent that she cannot even recall how she got home. This happens often.<br><br>I fear for her safety and for others on the roads. It is one thing stuffing up your own life, but unacceptable to kill/maim innocent third parties.<br>She is still in denial and minimises the extent of her addiction and I''m really scared that she may change her mind or come up with an alternative such as cutting down or, as she has suggested, going the AA route only. I don''t think either is feasible, giving the extent and duration of her problem.<br><br>I sat with her this weekend and drew up a list of treatment centres and have narrowed it down to two. I offered to organise my work around appointments at these places in order to accompany and support her - at her request. But, she hasn''t got so far to do anything about it. What now? Should I just go ahead and make the appointments? Also: what is the procedure? Does she have to be assessed? And how long does it take before she can get admitted? (i.e. is there usually a waiting list and for how long?)<br><br>I would really appreciate your help. Thanks!

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Our expert says:
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Hello there

If your friend does not want to attend a rehab out of her own free choice and motivation then it is going to be problematic. She's the one who should be making these arrangements, not you.

Typical of the alcoholic of course to make everybody else panic, stress out and do all the dirty work while they sit sloshed staring into their drinks feeling sorry for themselves.

You are obviously trying to help, but if the decision doesn't come from your friend herself, it's futile.

You should consider an intervention first and then proceed with admitting her to a rehab. She should be told that the party's over, in fact, it's been over for a long time now, and there are severe consequences to this disease.

She sounds like she is in the chronic stages of alcoholism and it will only be a matter of time now before she injures herself or someone else.

Apart from the fact that her health will collapse (and has already), she will disintegrate psychologically and emotionally. Well, this sounds as if it's also already happened.

She is at the end of the road, the gutter (metaphorically and for real)is the next step.

Her memory loss sounds like the onset of brain damage. The prognosis for alcoholism that is left untreated is death.

Not a very pleasant death either, because it's often a long, drawn out, painful demise, coupled with the loss of friends, family, career and everything that makes living worthwhile.

But there is hope. There is always hope. Let's recap. Your friend is definitely an alcoholic and she needs help.

You will need to sit down and explain to her how serious this issue is. Preferably with as many friends and family as possible. It's called an intervention.

If you need guidance on an intervention contact Ruby or Taryn on Tel: 021 790 7779.

Then you can proceed (quickly) with choosing a rehab. Once again you can phone Ruby or Taryn on the same number as above.

They will be able to explain to you how to go about it. Best of luck.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: Addictions Expert Forum | 2010-04-14

Hello there

If your friend does not want to attend a rehab out of her own free choice and motivation then it is going to be problematic. She's the one who should be making these arrangements, not you.

Typical of the alcoholic of course to make everybody else panic, stress out and do all the dirty work while they sit sloshed staring into their drinks feeling sorry for themselves.

You are obviously trying to help, but if the decision doesn't come from your friend herself, it's futile.

You should consider an intervention first and then proceed with admitting her to a rehab. She should be told that the party's over, in fact, it's been over for a long time now, and there are severe consequences to this disease.

She sounds like she is in the chronic stages of alcoholism and it will only be a matter of time now before she injures herself or someone else.

Apart from the fact that her health will collapse (and has already), she will disintegrate psychologically and emotionally. Well, this sounds as if it's also already happened.

She is at the end of the road, the gutter (metaphorically and for real)is the next step.

Her memory loss sounds like the onset of brain damage. The prognosis for alcoholism that is left untreated is death.

Not a very pleasant death either, because it's often a long, drawn out, painful demise, coupled with the loss of friends, family, career and everything that makes living worthwhile.

But there is hope. There is always hope. Let's recap. Your friend is definitely an alcoholic and she needs help.

You will need to sit down and explain to her how serious this issue is. Preferably with as many friends and family as possible. It's called an intervention.

If you need guidance on an intervention contact Ruby or Taryn on Tel: 021 790 7779.

Then you can proceed (quickly) with choosing a rehab. Once again you can phone Ruby or Taryn on the same number as above.

They will be able to explain to you how to go about it. Best of luck.

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