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Question
Posted by: Beth | 2010/02/09

Addictive Son

My son is 22 yrs old. He was addicted to internet pornography. We send him to rehab 6 months ago. He is starting life all over again. He got a job and spend his whole salary within a week on airtime. So I think he is at it again. We decided to take over his money and manage until he proves he is responsible. Is this enabling him or helping? We are fed-up.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, I don't think it is in the least useful to talk of "addiction" to porn, or to other sexual behaviours, or to shopping, and so on, though it has become awfully fashionable to do so. I cannot imagine how any normal "rehab" program could possibly be of the faintest use in dealin g with such problems, and there is no good evidence that they are.
Depending on what you mean by "addiction" to porn, if his interest is seriously intruding on his work and social life, it may inded deserve atention, and then from a properly qualified psychologist offering Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, CBT. Nothing else has a realistic chance of helping such a combination of maladaptive behaviour and bad habits of thought.
I'm not clear what he is doing, as most people access internet porn on their computer, and these days can buy enough monthly bandwidth to exceed even their most devoted online lust, for a few hundred rand, surely a lot less than he is earning.
CBT would focus, among other things, to help him learn how to manage his budget and money, and his interests and urges, so he could continue to do so. The snag with controlling his money for him, is that he doesn't learn how to do it himself.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/09

Firstly, I don't think it is in the least useful to talk of "addiction" to porn, or to other sexual behaviours, or to shopping, and so on, though it has become awfully fashionable to do so. I cannot imagine how any normal "rehab" program could possibly be of the faintest use in dealin g with such problems, and there is no good evidence that they are.
Depending on what you mean by "addiction" to porn, if his interest is seriously intruding on his work and social life, it may inded deserve atention, and then from a properly qualified psychologist offering Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, CBT. Nothing else has a realistic chance of helping such a combination of maladaptive behaviour and bad habits of thought.
I'm not clear what he is doing, as most people access internet porn on their computer, and these days can buy enough monthly bandwidth to exceed even their most devoted online lust, for a few hundred rand, surely a lot less than he is earning.
CBT would focus, among other things, to help him learn how to manage his budget and money, and his interests and urges, so he could continue to do so. The snag with controlling his money for him, is that he doesn't learn how to do it himself.

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