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Question
Posted by: Concerned Mom | 2012-11-23

ADDICTED DAUGHTER

Morning CS

After my last post, we have had our daughter admitted for rehab. the programme is 3 months in-patient. She has been in for 2 weeks and doing her detox. She is completely off all pills right now, but is NOT in a good state emotionally. She does nothing but sob all the time. She says she cannot commit to the 3 months but can only commit to 28 days, because she is missing her family so much. Ironic isn''t it that she wasnt " there"  in anycase because she was always high and never spoke to anyone other than one work answers if we tried to engage with her! I don''t know if I''ve done the right thing, but I told her that I can''t force her to stay, however if she leaves I will remove myself from her life because I can no longer watch her self destruct. I don''t know how I will ever be able to walk away from her, because there is a child involved, but I know that I have to get to a place where I can detach with love, because this situation is not good for my health. I feel so helpless and desperate.

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Our expert says:
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What I don;'t understand is why she has any reason to "miss her family" - does this rehab program forbid any form of family contact throught the entire three months ( which would be eccentric and hard to justify ethically or clinically ). Yes, indeed, the main focus ought to be on intense and expert psychological work within the program to focus on relevant issues, but forbidding brief and even if necessary supervised family visits is unwise, and both provides excuses for the person to drop out, as seems to be possible here, and also avoids opportunities for a skillful program to focus on any toxic aspects of the person's relartionship with their family which need to be dealt with within the rehab program.
To exclude those family frictions from the process only inceases the likelihood of relapse when a person kept away from them is then sent back to a situation they haven't yet properly dealt with.
And surely any competent rehab program should provide the facility for you to meet and talk with her therapist in charge, about exactly this sort of issue ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kasandra | 2012-11-23

this is not easy, my heart goes out to you, but stand strong - addiction is such a disease and it can manipulate and destroy everyone who really cares about us.

just like her, you have to take it one day at a time.

she needs to know, its all up to her. all the love in the world is not going to help her she needs to help herself and learn to love herself again before she will appreciate and accept true love from others.

She is in good hands the professionals and councilars will work with her.

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: Ella | 2012-11-23

I have no words of advice - just want to say I feel deeply for you. I can''t begin to imagine how you must feel. Sending you love and light.

Reply to Ella
Posted by: Chris758 | 2012-11-23

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: CP MOM | 2012-11-23

Wish I had words for you my dear. All I know is that you have taken this step you have to stick to your guns. Which I know is hard as a mother but you have to, because after this fails what is left?

*hug*

Reply to CP MOM

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