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Question
Posted by: Involved | 2009-06-26

Addicted

My husband was aproblem drinker for almost 25 years. He quitted a few times only to start again after about 3 or for months. He is dry now for 7 months, but tends to have the craving occasionally. I strongly refused him to bring booze again into the house. He cried, begged and promised to behave but still I refused. We have suffered a lot in the past throug alcohol ( the particulars I am not going to bore you with) and for our sake and his we are not going that route again. He is very ill healthed and said that the alcohol will relief his symptons and pain. I know I am cruel but I will rather see him ill than drunk again. Am I right? What if he dies tomorrow, will I be able to cope with my consience. What can I do to help him cope from my side? I love him dearly, but threatened that if he starts again, I will leave, although I know that I would not be able to leave. He however believes that I will.

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Our expert says:
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Normally the significant others are the one's who have to set the boundaries with the addict who is either in active dependence, recovery or relapse. Perhaps you and your husband should consider joining a support/self-help groups such as AA and Al-anon - I have seen promising results in the past. It is also important that he is seeking therapetuic intervention from a psychaitrist (as there is likely to be another co-occuring problem such as depression etc) and other relevant mental health professionals. Remember - sometimes relapse can be considered as part of the recovery process - but it is best to seeks the advice and guidance of a mental health practicioner that can guide you on this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Been there | 2009-06-26

LAZAUS: This is not a professional answer, but if one finds themselves needing a drug or alchol to get through normal, everyday activities, then the chances are likely that one is addicted. Examples are needing a drink or drug to get up in the morning, or to go to bed at night, to cope with anxiety or stressful situations etc. Basically using it as a crutch.

Reply to Been there
Posted by: Been there | 2009-06-26

Involved: Carry on supporting your husband as you are. Never give in to let him bring alcohol into the house. Addicts of all kinds do the crying, begging trick and sometimes it turns to anger. My husband abuses alcohol so I know what I am talking about here. He has gotten far if he has been dry so long. Try the support network if he is willing to go. If he carries on drinking his health will decline further and make life more miserable for you.

YOU ARE NOT CRUEL to be doing this - you are trying to HELP and you need to remember this! good luck!

Reply to Been there
Posted by: Lazaus | 2009-06-26

When and how do one knows that he/she is an addict?

Reply to Lazaus

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