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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/02/23

Accidental Poo Sex

My girlfriend and I were having sex and because of drinking so much, she taught of let some poo out on the bed. I think this is because when one is drunk, you cannot control certain things. I was grossed out at first and we stopped what we were doing and took a shower. This happended while she was on top of me, and riding me, when I put my hand behind and grabbed her butt and smelt something funny. We were both embarrassd at first and I assured her I''m okay. But now she wont let me go down on her... What do I do, I really used to like going down south on her, but because of what happened, she is sort of against me going close there besides from just putting it in

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The muscles (Referred to as PC muscles) that are intensely involved during sexual intercourse are surrounded around the vagina, anus and the urine opening. These muscles contract and relax and enhance the sexual pleasure. The same muscles are also involved during our normal bowel and urine actions. It is possible that alcohol could have had an impact on less of control over those muscles in light of the sexual activity that was coupled with it. It is understandable that she will feel embarrassed, but maybe understanding the physiological part of it, allow her to trust her body more in future.

You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2014/12/05

LOL DONGS!

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anon | 2010/03/01

Thank you Sexologist for the positive and reassuring response. It had nothing to do with anal sex.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/02/26

The muscles (Referred to as PC muscles) that are intensely involved during sexual intercourse are surrounded around the vagina, anus and the urine opening. These muscles contract and relax and enhance the sexual pleasure. The same muscles are also involved during our normal bowel and urine actions. It is possible that alcohol could have had an impact on less of control over those muscles in light of the sexual activity that was coupled with it. It is understandable that she will feel embarrassed, but maybe understanding the physiological part of it, allow her to trust her body more in future.

You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: A Big Guy | 2010/02/25

Who said it was anal sex?

Reply to A Big Guy
Posted by: Biguy | 2010/02/23

Hi there Anon

If I understand what you mean when you talk about " going down on her"  and that you like going down south on her" , as being that you enjoy rimming her (oral-anal contact)...and please forgive me if I''ve misunderstood you, then the first thing that I''d encourage the two of you to consider, would be that you go for hepatitis shots. Much as there''s a low risk of HIV transmission taking place during rimming someone, there is a high risk when it comes to hepatitis. It doesn''t imply that the either of you have it, but at least you''ll know that from a safety perspective, you will have peace of mind.

I don''t want to make you feel as if I''m rubbing my sexuality in your face, because I''m not and I''m making this post with the greatest of respect, but I decided to respond to you because of being a man and because I''ve experienced things from " both sides of the fence" . There''s a > very<  big difference between what one goes through (including on an emotional level) when one " tops"  and when one " bottoms" .

When it comes to the realm of anal contact, a lot of times there isn''t the awareness of the emotional investment that takes place during such contact. Within the gay/bi realm, on many instances the person''s first time ends in disaster...not because of an accident but because the person isn''t aware of the giant leap of faith that takes place and the subsequent need to be emotionally prepared for it. Either it leads to the person getting cold feet at the last minute and running the risk of being raped or being accused of being a tease, or else the experience is rather clinical because it''s safer to remove one''s emotions out of the mix, or else once the deed is done, the person tends to be wracked with shame, embarrassment and guilt and either he''ll put on his clothes and bolt or else he''ll chase the person out of his home.

On a more personal level, much as I love anal sex and at times I crave it, it''s something that doesn''t happen overnight. Part of it comes from my need for my sexual experiences to be meaningful but the greater part comes from the amount of emotional vulnerability that comes with such contact. I have to really, REALLY care deeply for a person in order to be willing to have anal sex with him...most especially when it means that I will bottom. When it comes to rimming, there has only been one time when I came to a place where I was able to lower my guards and allow someone to pleasure me in that way. It leaves me feeling completely exposed (not just physically but emotionally too), extremely vulnerable and very insecure...and it takes a lot of patience and effort from both sides in order for me to be able to lower my guards.

It may sound rather nuts to you, but there are a lot of risks involved some of them may come from an emotional and not a rational place, but they are there nonetheless. What if there''s an accident? Especially since he''ll be putting his mouth " there" !!! Can you imagine his reaction? His reaction/disgust would make me want to die a thousand deaths because I''d be so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I wouldn''t be able to look him in the eye afterwards. I cringe at how he''d see me.

It may sound like overkill but accidents do happen, even if one prepares beforehand by means of douching and most especially if one resorts to using enemas. Sometimes one can be over enthusiastic and in the process, water reaches the upper colon (which doesn''t need to be cleansed and is very harmful/invasive) and loosens fecal matter. Sometimes it can take an hour or two (sometimes longer) before it reaches the lower colon. So, much as the person may have prepared beforehand, there''s still an unexpected accident.

Added to which, the mind does play games on us at times. Think about how you react whenever you prick your finger and it bleeds. Most times, the reaction is one of putting that finger into one''s mouth etc. However, have an open gash on your body and you''ll think twice about putting your mouth anywhere close to it...much as it''s the same body and the same blood.

I thought that I''d share this with you in an attempt to make you aware of what she''s going through emotionally so that you can better understand and be more patient and empathetic towards her. Not that I''m implying that you aren''t, but sometimes it''s hard to understand unless you''ve gone through it.

When it comes to actual anal sex the things that have helped deal with accidents have been to accept that it''s more than likely that an accident will occur at some point and that it''s not a big deal. I think that we all react in the same way when it happens for the first time, so don''t feel as if you''ve done something wrong.

As I mentioned, I only have anal sex when I care deeply for the other person. In light of this, it takes place at a time when I''d gladly help clean the person if he was in a wheelchair and unable to help himself whenever he goes to the toilet etc. Having that kind of mindset helps reduce the gross factor should an accident occur. At the same time, I make the person aware that an accident isn''t a big deal to me and that I''d gladly be the person to help him clean up if he were paralyzed etc. On the other end of the stick, I''m only able to bottom for someone once I am able to trust him and have been able to ascertain that it won''t be a big deal to him if there''s an accident.

Another thing that helps is to always have wet wipes on hand. Knowing the kind of emotional risks that takes place when someone bottoms, if I''m topping and there''s an accident, and I''m able to establish that the person is embarrassed etc. I''ll have an attitude of " pffffffft, who cares"  while telling him that if it will make things easier, I''ll lie back with my eyes closed and he can take the wet wipes and clean things up. Once he''s finished with the cleanup, we can the go and take a shower.

I hope that this helps. All of the best!

Reply to Biguy
Posted by: Anon | 2010/02/23

This is so funny... a poo while doing it....
Next time dont drink too much...

Reply to Anon

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