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Question
Posted by: Pamela | 2012/04/09

Abusive Relationships

I have been in a abusive relationship fo 6 yeas, and it was ended 2 years ago. I cannot seem to get over him at all. I miss him so terrible, it has taken over my whole life. Please, can anyone help me???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So, you are saying that you love and miss your abuser, and miss being abused ? Or are you in love with the man you thought and hoped he was, hoped he would be ; not the weak and abusive man he actually was ? DO, please, arrange to see a personal counsellor to work through these issues, to set yourself free psychologically from anoxious relationship you sound as though you are fortunately physically free of. Abusers don't change. Free yourself to make a happy life for yourself ; you don't need him to form any part of that good life you so much deserve. Explore, also, organizations like POWA that exist to hepp abused women to escape and break the bad habits that can be associated with abuse.
As XXX wisely points out, there are bad habits that form around even abusive relationships, habits that need to be broken and revised

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Pamela | 2012/04/10

Apparently he has now stopped drinking, and is not abusive in his new relationship.....

Reply to Pamela
Posted by: XXX | 2012/04/10

You were together for a long time and hence got used to him,even with his abuse.It is obvious you will miss some things about him but any abuse cannot be tolerated.
You probably need to see an expert to help you through this.
Do not consider going back as the abuse can only start all over again,rather look for someone else.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/10

So, you are saying that you love and miss your abuser, and miss being abused ? Or are you in love with the man you thought and hoped he was, hoped he would be ; not the weak and abusive man he actually was ? DO, please, arrange to see a personal counsellor to work through these issues, to set yourself free psychologically from anoxious relationship you sound as though you are fortunately physically free of. Abusers don't change. Free yourself to make a happy life for yourself ; you don't need him to form any part of that good life you so much deserve. Explore, also, organizations like POWA that exist to hepp abused women to escape and break the bad habits that can be associated with abuse.
As XXX wisely points out, there are bad habits that form around even abusive relationships, habits that need to be broken and revised

Reply to cybershrink

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