Our expert says:
Retaliatory tactics usually are not effective, as I think you have found. But the worst aspect is how you have become so firmly focussed on him, which is like carrying him round in your pocket, not allowing yourself time free from his malign influence.
As he has developed this pattern of rudeness and diminishing you, why on earth should you allow yourself to feel guilty for what HE does ?
You are not an abuser or the abuser, but getting locked into an unfortunately typical pattern of reponses to abusive behavior of another.
See a counsellor to help you plan to leave this unwholesome relationship, and to move ahead without locking yourself to it.
Motlalentwa - you have already taken the first and most essential step - recognizing what is wrong with your habits of behaviour, both the drinking and the abuse of partners. Now see a proper counsellor to help you change these bad habits, and to create more happiness for yourself and your future partner(s).
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.