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Question
Posted by: scared | 2009/12/14

abuse husband

Hi. I have been married for ten years now and the last two years has been hell to say the least. My husband just started to abuse me one day. i do not know what triggered it. He only hit me when he was coming home drunk and when i confronted him about his whereabouts. The drinking became worse and so the physical abuse. It only happend at least once a month and now it is almost daily. i am so afraid and try to hide most of the times when he comes home drunk. What scares me the most,is that he is doing it infront of my children,which is also boys. they see it and i can see in their behaviour that they are doing the same now. They have no respect for me and ignores me when i speak to them. The oldest one,age 9, even start saying that i deserve being treated like this,because i do not listen to his daddy.I have no where to go. My family all past away 5 years back in a car accident. I' m the only one left. I' m still sad and cry about it because i miss them all so much. I do say nothing to my husband,because to him i must get over it and forget it. It is not his problem as he is saying so many times. I want so desperately to leave,but i have no money and nowhere to go. I tried to apply for several jobs,but then i do not know who will look after the children,because i have no money to employ someone to help me. I dread the holiday...we are going to my husbands family and when i once tried to speak to my mother-in-law and my husbands brothers about the situation,they told me that i am a lier and should be grateful for what he gives me. I' m so scared. Yesterday while we were driving he kicked me out of the car and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere,telling me to walk home,because i' m getting fat and that i cannot speak proper german and that i' m an embarresment for him.
i want to commit suidide,because i do not see a way out of this. He gives me an allowance of R2000,00 a month. I try to save that money to get away one day,but i have to buy all the things for the kids and cannot save that much at a time. Please help me. i' m so sad and scared.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Dear Scared
Here are some numbers you can call for assistance:
Stop Woman Abuse National Toll-free Hotline 0800 150150
Life Line: Johannesburg (011) 728 1347 Durban (031) 23 2323; Port Elizabeth (041) 55 5581; Cape Town (021) 461 1111
Adapt: (011) 885 3309
Advice Desk for Abused Women: (031) 204 4111
Domestic Violence Assistance Programme: (031) 260 1588
Family and Marriage Centre of South Africa: Johannesburg (011) 833 2057/788 4784; Port Elizabeth (041) 585 9393; Durban (031) 304 8991; Cape Town (021) 461 7360; Pretoria (021) 322 7136

I hope that through this you will be able to contact a welfare worker that will be able to assist you to get out of this situation.
Dr Bets

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Tasja | 2009/12/14

Ai man,i cant even imagine why some of us women have to go through this.Just get away from him,look in a telephone book or call the telkom info line,think its 1023.look or ask where is your nearest FAMSA branch and then call them and ask for help?Or phone a hospital or police and ask,but i think FAMSA will help,they know of safehouses for abused women and children.Take your kids with you!Just get our,God will help with the rest,he will provide just beleive that you can and you must.Get out tomorrow/today!

Reply to Tasja
Posted by: cyberdoc | 2009/12/14

Dear Scared
Here are some numbers you can call for assistance:
Stop Woman Abuse National Toll-free Hotline 0800 150150
Life Line: Johannesburg (011) 728 1347 Durban (031) 23 2323; Port Elizabeth (041) 55 5581; Cape Town (021) 461 1111
Adapt: (011) 885 3309
Advice Desk for Abused Women: (031) 204 4111
Domestic Violence Assistance Programme: (031) 260 1588
Family and Marriage Centre of South Africa: Johannesburg (011) 833 2057/788 4784; Port Elizabeth (041) 585 9393; Durban (031) 304 8991; Cape Town (021) 461 7360; Pretoria (021) 322 7136

I hope that through this you will be able to contact a welfare worker that will be able to assist you to get out of this situation.
Dr Bets

Reply to cyberdoc

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