Our expert says:
Maybe one thing is that you need to recognize not only that you don't NEED your mom's acceptance and approval, but that any woman who would treat her child as she did, well, her approval would be worthless anyway.
If your stepfather makes any other attempts to be intimate with you, call the police and lay charged of attempted rape, and get a court order forbidding him from approaching you in any way.
You are now an adult, and can make your own decisions, and she ( and he ) have no power unless you give it to them. Don't, they don't deserve it.
Your mom's acceptance of your stepfather's criminal behaviour is itself borderline criminal, and you needn't want to have any contact with a woman apparently lackiong in moral sense or any understanding of her duties as a mother. Contact with her can be of no benefit at all to your kids, and you have no guarantee that the wicked stepfather won't try his luck with them when they reach whatever age he prefers. She seems to want servants, not children.
If your mom is actually a psychiatrist, I am shocked, and wonder how someone so disturbed and unethical in her private life can function as a professional and ethical and effective shrink. She should be ashamed of herself.
Congratulations on your excellent decision to move away from her. Make your own life, for yourself and your own children, and leave her to stew.
Stop trying to make her love you - it sounds as though she has no understanding of what love is, and as though she has never loved anyone except herself, and perhaps the sleazy stepfather.
She has no worthwhile love to give you or anyone else. Congratulations on standing up for yourself - don't back track or apologise to her, and as far as possible, cut off contact with her and ignore all her attempts to regain control of you.
Stop worrying about hurting her - she will only pretend to be hurt in order to manipulate her. She sacrificed nothing for you, and to keep reminding you of that claim is manipulative, too.
Only a fool would tell a victim of abuse to fogive the abuser, especially while the abuse was ongoing.
Stop looking for her approval or understanding -she's not capable of that. She wants a slave, not a daughter.
She will not get sick because you finally spoke the truth to her. That is impossible. You were truthful, not rude. Stop worrying about her pain, which is exaggerated so as to manipulate, or non-existent. She deserves no respect whatsoever, as she hasnt earned any or given any.
Respect your own pain ( which she never has done and never will do). Stop giving her so much power over you. PLEASE see a personal counsellor to help you remain free of this monstrous woman and her monstrous husband.
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