Posted by: Frustrated wife | 2009-05-12

About husband again?update

Ive posted about 3 mnths ago,about my husband who has an anger problem.Me and the kids suffered alot.not fisical but emosional.Kids still under 4 years!He had some past history aswell regarding other stuff.You suggested seeing some-one.Oh,tlold you he works in the middle east!
Ok,he is now inbetween contracts,and been home for 3 mnths now!He exploded in anger twice in this time,3 weeks ago the last time.So i had enough and wrotre him a leteer and gave him an ultimatum,either he seeks help for his problem and to sort out his past(devorced parents ect).Or i move out with the kids,because i cant take it anymore and i dont want my kids subject to his mood swings!
So,he decided to go see n psycoligist(SP?)Today was the second time!
Anyway what i want to know is:I`m i not involved?Dont i get to know whats going on?Shoulnt she see me too?Because i dont know whats going on behind closed doors,and i just wondered if he tells her everything,or maybe just about his anger problem.I just ask,because i really think he has this problem,because of stuff in his past,when he was still small.And he has this other problem aswell,will he tell her that.Because it worry`s me that he is not totally over it,and he does this in secret.This issue broke our trust the firts time.(he has had some gender issues as far as i can gather 10 years or so ago)We are married for 6 years!Whats my role in his counselling?

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Our expert says:
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IF I were the psychologist, I would probably want to see you too ; and maybe she might ask to see you later o n. Maybe, thopugh, if he is sincere here, they might be delving into stuff in his earlier life which he may not want to share with you at this stage, rather than "being secret". Congratulate him on being sensible about seeing the psychologist, and tactfully make it clear that you are ready and willing to see her too, alone or with him, if and when he wishes that. And if he has had rages or whatever since childhood, don't be surprised that " he is not totally over it| yet by the second session ! Give it some more time. Remind him tactfully, if the time he'll still be at home before going abroad again is limited, to let his psychologist know that deadline, so she can take it into account in planning therapy

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