Our expert says:
Its a feature of some cultural patterns in some communities, of course, both that parents and mothers perhaps in particular, feel totally entitled to interfere and command ( rather than advise and help ) in their children's lives even long after the "child" is legally and socially adult.
So not all mothers could even think of "grounding for life" an adult son or daughter.
Having worked in and with the Indian community for many years, I know that it is one of several cultural groups within which Mothers can have and wield enormous power within the family.
Such powers are always actually only existent by consent - as with anoyone else in your life, they only hold over you whatever power you choose to give them.
Racial prejudices or other prejudices including racial elements are sadly common in many communities ( and thinking of anyone as an "Indian boy" is part of the problem ) There are irresponsible men and women ) in every possible community, and one needs to recognize and avoid such people, not to reject whole classes or people because the last three villains you met happened to come from one of them.
Sounds like your sister's problem isn't with "Indian boys" but with her own immaturity, impetuousness amd really bad judgement. Maybe she needs counselling to become more street-smart and sensible.
Maybe, fro your description, your mother has been an ineficient and toughtless mother, setting a bad example for her daughter. But it hardly sounds as though she's likely to change just because you told her how awful her behaviour was or is.
Making ANYONE feel bad for being of any race, or any mixed race, is prejudiced, bad and indefensible.
Your sister is at least legally adult, even if at times she is emotionally and behaviourally infantile - and adults have the right to be foolish if they insist. You cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Only if and when she recognizes the extent to which she has been nmessing up, and asks for help, will you be able to be really useful - indicate that you want to and will remain ready to help, and try to wait patiently.
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