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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/05/04

A warning to parents

I often read posts about the problems parents face with their teenaged (or sometimes even younger) kids. Kids dont SUDDENLY start lying/stealing/being disrespectful/lazy etc...they were born with those inherent tendencies. But instead of consistantly correcting their behaviour by proactive, loving teaching and appropriate discipline when they were small, you opted out and gave in to their tantrums/selfish demands etc. You treated then like little gods that are the centre of the universe and now they are acting in accordance with what you have always taught them.
You are plucking the fruits of your choices.

If you still have small children and you are doing the same. Pay careful attention - you will be posting those things in a few years.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sadly, I suspect you're right. When I first went to live in America, some years ago, people at dinner parties would ask me what did I think of America. I'd say I was very impressed by how obedient parents were to their children. That tended to end that discussion

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ally | 2012/05/08

My son is almost 14 yrs old and my husband has never raised a hand to him, not even to lightly slap his bottom when he has been naughty or disrespectful. My son treats his father as a friend and not like a parent and it annoys me as he thinks he can treat me the same way! If my son wants something and I say no, he runs to his father who will do whatever he can to buy it for him! I have spoken to my husband about this, but he says he will do whatever he can and give my son whatever he can as he (husband) had to do without when he was a child.

Reply to Ally
Posted by: Anon | 2012/05/06

Mommy, I do have kids and one of my kids - now almost grown does have adhd. And I do not mean to pass judgement on parents with kids with special circumstances - like autism etc. I was referring to the run of the mill, everyday parents and kids.
Even children with special needs still need good parenting.
Dont feel condemned, it was not aimed at good parents with difficult children - but parents who thinks kids raise themselves and then act like victims because their kids are out of control

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Mommy | 2012/05/05

In some respect I do agree with you...but not fully.....
I dont know if you have a child with behaviour problems?
I do.....it almost distroyed our family and he is only 8 !
But its not always just the parents who is at fault.....my son was very difficult since birth....crying, meltdowns.....comiting......He has been diagnosed with POSSIBLE autism spectrum disorder last year.......But things did improve when we as parents got back in control again......All I want to say....you might mostly be right....but dont be to easy to judge! Unfortunatly children with bipolar and personality disorder also exists! And those parents are suffering because of judgemental people like you......

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: Anri | 2012/05/05

I must also agree on this one. One tip that I can give parents. Stop buying too much things for your kids. Stop spoiling them with gifts. Teach them to save money for what they want. Too much spoiling create a monstor.

Reply to Anri
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/04

Sadly, I suspect you're right. When I first went to live in America, some years ago, people at dinner parties would ask me what did I think of America. I'd say I was very impressed by how obedient parents were to their children. That tended to end that discussion

Reply to cybershrink

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