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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/02/18

A story about a a girl... kind a long :)

Hey,

I met this girl a year or so ago. We became friends... but I always wanted more than that. She didn' t want to as she had her own personal issues to deal with... so I never really pushed the issue any further.

We hang out, there wasn' t any physical interaction - but I could always sense tension. Throughout the year we used to go out... you know, just for coffees, movies, maybe a show now and then - not like often but often enough.

From like chatting with her and stuff I do know that there were some feelings for me, but I didn' t know how to push her to change the relationship.

I know, I shouldn' t have run after her like I did - but there is just something about this girl - I met a some nice women last year- but there was nothing like her. You know, you just get that feeling?

Anyway, during the middle of last year I started to distance myself from her as I knew that nothing would come of it - but I always hoped. More towards the end of the year for a good couple months I never really had contact with her- it worked fine for me... I wasn' t really thinking about her.

This year comes round and I get a message from her to see what i' m up to etc and then I fell into this cycle again!!!

I know I should really just cease contact with her, but I just wish I knew how I could get her to see what she is doing to me!!! It doesn' t help me being just friends with this girl.

I was once told that sometimes friends turn to lovers - but I don' t know if this is the case. I just wish I knew what I could do to make that transition happen and happen a lot quicker!!!???

If anyone has advice, let me know!


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why "push" her to change the relationship ? Why not just discuss it with her, suggest that you would be interested in developing it further IF that would be agreeable to her, and how does she feel about it ?
The French have a saying that translates as "A door should be either open or shut", and you need to clear up this ambiguity, where it sounds as though neither of you really knows what the other wants or where this may ( or may not ) be heading. TALK.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: sideways | 2010/02/18

Talk to her. Tell her what you have told us and then you will know exactly where you stand and can make a decision from there. Good luck

Reply to sideways
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/18

Why "push" her to change the relationship ? Why not just discuss it with her, suggest that you would be interested in developing it further IF that would be agreeable to her, and how does she feel about it ?
The French have a saying that translates as "A door should be either open or shut", and you need to clear up this ambiguity, where it sounds as though neither of you really knows what the other wants or where this may ( or may not ) be heading. TALK.

Reply to cybershrink

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