Posted by: Me | 2009-04-16

A question to the Cheaters


Once again I' ve logged into the site after a long time..only to see so many postings wrt cheating. So sad to think this disgusting behaviour will NEVER end. I have a question for those cheaters.
Do you EVER truly regret cheating on your spouse???
What do you regret?? Cheating?? or being found out? Hmm?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Now now -- move beyond the negative thinking. Cheating is horrid, and certainly hasn't ended yet, but lets not insist that it will never end. If one has been cheated on --- does one NEED the slimy cheater to regret it ? I think some people get stuck on bitter feelings, with difficulty moving on, when they insist on waiting for something as unnecessary and inlikely as a genuinely regretful cheater. The rest of your life is up to you, and happiness must never be made contingent on how a cheater does or does not react

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Egg | 2009-04-17

NEVER cheat... Easy as that. Don' t get married then! You only end up hurting people.

Reply to Egg
Posted by: WW | 2009-04-17

Well, well well…  I do NOT believe that ALL cheaters cheat cos they are “ lacking”  something at home..Men ..and women who cheat..are self centred and arrogant… thinking ..and hoping that they will get away with it..and not get caught. Going out to look elsewhere if there are problems in a relationship is a coward way of dealing with things… and looking for justification. I have absolutely no respect for people who cheat. NOT all people have a ‘ reason’  to cheat… I know of someone who cheated… just cos he wanted to experience a fantasy and NOT because he was lacking anything at home! The women he cheated with … were strangers and much younger than him, and no emotional ties what so ever. And yet he confirmed that he was not lacking good sex at home??? Now explain that???

Reply to WW
Posted by: FBI | 2009-04-17

I agree with I know and Oh No. I' ve been through it. It is the worst time of my life and all I want to know is why the cheaters just cant tell their spouses that they are unhappy. I cannot read my spouses mind and figure out that something is wrong if ther are no obvious signs. Some cheatres just have a predisposition to doing the wrong things like " I know" wrote. MMM maybe thou protest a little too much  -)
Communication is the key after all.

Reply to FBI
Posted by: MMM | 2009-04-17

Just a question. If u reflect on ur relationship and if u r honest with urself, do u think ur partner is happy with what he gets out of the relationship? R u happy what u r getting? And those that u r unhappy with, can u discuss it with ur partner? Who is trying to own who wants to be the boss? There is always a boss in the relationship, just talk to ur friends and family or just take a close look at them. U will quickly see who is the boss. Kaboom!!! Big mistake to be the boss. The boss is the one thats going to get hurt, believe u me.

Reply to MMM
Posted by: Oh No !! | 2009-04-17

MMM and FBI have got it all wrong. Being unhappy in a relationship is absolutely NO excuse for going out and cheating EVER. " I know"  has made some very accurate observations. It all comes down to your moral fibre. Have you got the upbringing to respect people and to be honest in all your dealings ? That' s what its all about. Going out and cheating because you are battling in a relationship is petulant and disgusting. Its like children being spiteful, I can' t have that so I will do this wah wah wah , so there !!

Reply to Oh No !!
Posted by: I know ! | 2009-04-17

Cheaters are dishonest. In the same way as thieves and fraudsters are dishonest. Stemming I believe ,from an absence of a proper upbringing by uninterested parents and a lack of religious teaching. This results in a lack of moral fibre, where cheating, telling lies ,stealing and other criminal activity are carried out without any conscience or feeling of guilt on the part of the " doer" : We in SA suffer greatly from this mindset, from the top of the tree downwards.They have no self respect hence they have no respect for anyone else. No hope of recovery unless they truly have a major revelation and undergo serious life changing activities.

Reply to I know !
Posted by: FBI | 2009-04-17

Things can sometimes be wrong in a relationship to make the cheater look elsewhere. HOWEVER, did the cheater make an attempt to rectify the home situation first before being such an idiot. Thats what I' d like to know. We cant read minds you know.

Reply to FBI
Posted by: MMM | 2009-04-17

Question is why do they cheat? Something/Someone is driving one to cheat. What u dont get in a relationship, u will find somewhere else. Whether its love, sex, appreciation, respect, etc. I strongly believe in the driving force behind cheating. One does not just one day wake up and decide today is the day that I cheat. If one thinks back and r true to oneself, u should have seen it coming. Dont argue the crab that he/she got everything at home and didnt need to cheat. Rubbish. Cheating is a result of things not being right between a couple for a long time.

Reply to MMM
Posted by: Aahhh | 2009-04-17

I cheated, don' t regret it, and was not caught. On the other side, I 100% agree with CS.

You cannot be held responsible for any other action but yours. You get caugt, you must take the punch. You get cheated on, move away and move on. If you live on regrets, you are not living. You cannot change yesterday, you can take control of today and today, wil influence how you handle tomorrow!

About 3 years ago i made a personal change in my life, best choice I ever made. I couldn' t be bothered what people say or think of me, this is my life and I plan to make the best of the rest of my days!

Reply to Aahhh

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