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Question
Posted by: Anne | 2011/07/06

a mans children

Ive been friends with this guy for 2 years and everything is right with us. We get on so well, there is connection, we can talk for hours, same interests, and chemistry!!! I dont want to go over the boundary as he has 9 month old twins. All my friends are advising me against it as they say that it will be a constant battle with his kids and the ex. I have never had this kind of connection with any other guy but dont know if I should just walk away while I still can because of his children. I dont have any kids of my own. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't exaggerate ( to yourself ) the sense of "connection" and "chemistry", but rather review all aspects of the relationship, present and future. His children are part of his chemistry now, and part of any connection he will form with anyone else. How his ex, and the mother of the kids, feels about his ( and their ) relating to anyone else, will of course continue to be significant, and you need to understand it well.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Bee | 2011/07/06

You are going to have to prepare yourself to also perform a nurturing role as well as being supportive to him if you are to be in a serious relationship. Remember the kids did not ask to be here, so the adults must plan their lives around the children so as not to create a miserable life for them

Reply to Bee
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/06

Don't exaggerate ( to yourself ) the sense of "connection" and "chemistry", but rather review all aspects of the relationship, present and future. His children are part of his chemistry now, and part of any connection he will form with anyone else. How his ex, and the mother of the kids, feels about his ( and their ) relating to anyone else, will of course continue to be significant, and you need to understand it well.

Reply to cybershrink

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