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Question
Posted by: A Man in need of help | 2011/06/06

A Man in need of help

Hi

How do I convince/persuade my soon to be ex-girlfriend that I still love her and want to spend my life with her? We have been together for +-10 years and have 2 beautiful kids that GOD has blessed us with - a boy and girl...they mean the world to both of us and I not want to see my family breaking apart. I must admit that I have not paid much attention ately to her and her needs...I was there for her...but showed no affection, love emotions etc... I''m about to lose her as she has announced that she wants to move on with her life after 10 years...I know I should have done the right thing by marrying her or at least proposing...but I didn''...and I'' sure she is fed-up with being tagged along for so long...I have come to realise that Im still deeply in love with this women...she is the only 1 for me...MAYBE IT IS TOO LATE...she wants to move out of our house by the end of this month...I dont want her to move as I still LOVE her and am Still in love with her....her threatening and wanting to leave me has made me realise what a GEM she is...as I not want to leave her for any1 or anything in this world....Im prepared to make up for neglecting her...for not being there for her emotionally....physically....I want to give her my all....I LOVE this woman...I need her in my life...SHE IS ALL THE WOMEN I NEED,...I know it takes certain things to happen before we realise what we about to lose...but I''ve made up my mind...I WANT TO MAKE THIS PERSON MY FOCALPOINT...MY WIFEY..." I want to be there for her...I still have lots...and lots of LOVE for her...but how do I convince her that she is the 1 for me? I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her....I need to ask her to give me another chance.....but how do I do it? I think she is adamant that she wants lo leave me....I LOVE HER TOO MUCH to lose her....but how do I convince her to give our relationship another 6 months? Im willing to change for this person....but how can I persuade her to change her mind about leaving?
PLEASE ASSIT...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Ater 10 years and 2 kids, she surely would know if you love her. OK, so lately you failed to SHOW your love and affection clearly enough, and presumably that's what she is notm angry about. Maybe she feels used and taken for granted. Can you persuade her that you are serious, and that you will show this by both entering marriage counselling with her, and planning a marroage when this suits her ?
Maybe also write all this in a letter so she has a copy to remind her what you are saying - and so she can remind you what you said if you backtrack or delay.
But you can't force the issue ; you can't make someone stay lovingly. Maybe she will leave, but make it clear that you will change, and will be waiting for her to return.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Sfiso | 2011/06/07

Too little too late. Men..........

Reply to Sfiso
Posted by: Mzulu | 2011/06/07

Looks like you have been ina comfort zone for quite some time there buddy. I doubt that the damage that was done over the years can be ractified by desperate pleas (words). I wonder what you have been doing for ten years and why it took her so long to act on her concerns.Do tell her everything you telling us but never make a mistake of ''forcing'' her into a r/ship that she no longer wants coz you will only be inviting misery for yourself.Do accept when its really over and leave with your dignity still intact. There is nothing as pathetic as a desperate and begging person. It only chases the person further away. With time, you will be fine, I promise you.

GOOD LUCK MATE.

Reply to Mzulu
Posted by: Mrs P | 2011/06/06

I am so sorry for you. I really am. If her mind is made up though, there is little you can do to change it, because people feel how they feel. You could try telling her everything you wrote above, and maybe propose to her now. Just prepare for rejection. She may see this as too little too late. I really hope it isnt

Reply to Mrs P
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/06

Ater 10 years and 2 kids, she surely would know if you love her. OK, so lately you failed to SHOW your love and affection clearly enough, and presumably that's what she is notm angry about. Maybe she feels used and taken for granted. Can you persuade her that you are serious, and that you will show this by both entering marriage counselling with her, and planning a marroage when this suits her ?
Maybe also write all this in a letter so she has a copy to remind her what you are saying - and so she can remind you what you said if you backtrack or delay.
But you can't force the issue ; you can't make someone stay lovingly. Maybe she will leave, but make it clear that you will change, and will be waiting for her to return.

Reply to cybershrink

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