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Question
Posted by: k | 2012-02-17

A loner

Is it normal to not really want many close friends just aquaintances . I really do not like having people turn up at my door to visit unannounced. Im married and have children and thats all I need.
I like my space where I can do what I like. I have been like this most of my life. Sometimes I think people must think me odd. I go somewhere (shop, library) and Im always happy to go home. I dont like staying over if I visit family in other towns. I will only stay 1 night. I seldom chat long with other people and people I know a little better I dont like telling too much. Most people talk about stupid things to get attention and some lie and I see right through them. I dont like wasting my time with fake people. Years ago I went to a psychologist and she did a personality test and she told me only 1% of population have my personality so maybe that explains it.
I just worry maybe I will become a person that never wants to go out. I do find it stressful in social situations. Everyone milling around looking and talking just to fit in. I dont care if I fit in. Is this ok to be like this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Utterly and totally normal ! People who show up unannounced are not really showing friendshio but selfishness. Many people feel exactly as you do. Far more than 1 % ! Some of us are content with our own family, maybe close friends, and just don't enjoy wider social circles. If one would really want to be so sociable and felt too anxious to be able to do so, this could be a social anxiety disorder, which can be helped by treatment; but if, like many others, this is how you are happy to be, it is normal and healthy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Donkey | 2012-02-20

I am the same. I even get annoyed sometimes when my phone rings and I am busy or not in the mood for chit-chat.

I can''t socialise and party every weekend, especially with the same crowd - it is very boring.

I am also very content at home with my loved ones.

Reply to Donkey
Posted by: Bron | 2012-02-20

I have exactly the same mannerisms, I prefer my own company and that of my kids. We attend parties now and then and I stay to help if its needed, however always make up a story to leave early. I find that people complain and gossip most of the time which is really something that I am not into as I keep most of my troubles to myself and have specific people who I adress my problems and concerns with. I also find that people play so many mind games, its utterly boring.
Glad to see I am not the only one!

Reply to Bron
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-02-18

Utterly and totally normal ! People who show up unannounced are not really showing friendshio but selfishness. Many people feel exactly as you do. Far more than 1 % ! Some of us are content with our own family, maybe close friends, and just don't enjoy wider social circles. If one would really want to be so sociable and felt too anxious to be able to do so, this could be a social anxiety disorder, which can be helped by treatment; but if, like many others, this is how you are happy to be, it is normal and healthy.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: 1N539J | 2012-02-17

Oooh funny when I go out as well I turn not to care if I fit in I just telll myself that I am not gonna see you again so why chit-chat and I think people envy me because they always complement my confidence

Reply to 1N539J
Posted by: 1N539J | 2012-02-17

Good Lord, I can identify. I get grumpy when I can be away from my house for more that two days. I love my space and when I miss it man it hurts and I wonder if I did not have a home to go to....... With me the downside is that I am not married. I am staying with my siblings and we are doing very well and I know after three years they will be out of my spcae so it is not that bad.

Personally I think it is ok, so long it does not stem from fear. I like that the Pyschologist said we are very rare, so way to go buddy and I will drink to that.

Reply to 1N539J

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