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Question
Posted by: thandiwe | 2010/05/31

A husband who does not care


Yesterday night I fell so sick I was rolling on the floor but guess what my husband just looked at me and he just took the baby and said I should drink pills and off he went to sleep, I was all alone and it was as if I was dying something was in my throat.
I have realised that he is not a caring man I dont say that he was supposed to do something maybe take me to the doctor or something but guess what whenever there is something with other people he is the first one to jump, I told him today that it is funny on Saturday he went twice there is my neighbour''s daughter who was sick he voluntered to take her to the doctor and it was around 1 and another incident had occured the same day he had to take people to the police station he was the first one to jump for them also. I am not jeolus of him assisting other people but he must start at home and this is not the first time last month I was sick but be also did the same thing, I have decided that when I am sick I will never tell him but call an ambulance or neighbours because he is never there for me or am I funny please assist me what do I do with a person who does not care for me but care for outside people, I told him that today I will go to the doctor he needs not worry about me

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm. He surely doesn't sound like a genuinely caring person. Maybe he is more eager to be seen to help others, not out of a desire to be actually helpful, but because he wants other people to SEE him doing so and THINK of him as a helpful and nice guy ?
Apart from getting help for you, if that was what was needed, he could at least show sympathy and support.
How does he behave, and what does he expect, when HE is sick ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: lols | 2010/06/02

man - you are hilarious, it seems like you have a bit going on in your house, i bet you will not tell your wife all the shit you''ve just mentioned, she''d probably slap you!!!!

this guy at stake is a jerk! period!

Reply to lols
Posted by: Dear man | 2010/06/01

Hi there " man" . Thank you for your response to this. I can say that for us women its the same. Maybe we wish you dead too or maybe we also want somebody else. Or maybe even think of somebody else while our husbands so " unwillingly"  makes love to us. Is that not even worse? Society always makes excuses for men and that is why most of them cant cope with a nagging wife. My personal opinion is that a man would like a mummy that he can sleep with??? but anyway you clearly are also going through or went through your share... Maybe we should get your wifes opinion. Anyway thank you again :-)

Reply to Dear man
Posted by: Man | 2010/05/31

It is funny that you woman potray yourselves as innocent victims and man as monsters. The truth is - if you love someone when they fall sick you jump and help out. I get the feeling he wishes you were dead so he can get something new.....

There is difference between man don''t care or he is fed up with you....This one is tired of you honey and chances are that you are responsible. Maybe he feels you will not appreciate his care remember men are not dogs but we are like them....we like rewards. If all you keep is nagging and complaining chances are even if i was to care you would not appreciate it - you will complain more......there is nothing more defeating to a man than being chastied .....that is the reason men are not having sex with their wives, not hugging them and all this other things.............It is in our nature to completely withdraw where there is waste of time and no logic.

So i am sorry but internalise this problem and ask yourselves how have you been treating him lately....not staff like a cook for him bear three children for him but how do you talk to him, how do you react to his advise - you guys don''t want to hear but most of the time the problem starts wit you....but hey we love you anyway...

That is the only way i can explain why we get married, cos we don''t want to, why we attend church meeting,we don''t want to and by the way - Garden is for garden boy and woman cleaning the house and picking up after man is by choice...

Reply to Man
Posted by: Man | 2010/05/31

It is funny that you woman potray yourselves as innocent victims and man as monsters. The truth is - if you love someone when they fall sick you jump and help out. I get the feeling he wishes you were dead so he can get something new.....

There is difference between man don''t care or he is fed up with you....This one is tired of you honey and chances are that you are responsible. Maybe he feels you will not appreciate his care remember men are not dogs but we are like them....we like rewards. If all you keep is nagging and complaining chances are even if i was to care you would not appreciate it - you will complain more......there is nothing more defeating to a man than being chastied .....that is the reason men are not having sex with their wives, not hugging them and all this other things.............It is in our nature to completely withdraw where there is waste of time and no logic.

So i am sorry but internalise this problem and ask yourselves how have you been treating him lately....not staff like a cook for him bear three children for him but how do you talk to him, how do you react to his advise - you guys don''t want to hear but most of the time the problem starts wit you....but hey we love you anyway...

That is the only way i can explain why we get married, cos we don''t want to, why we attend church meeting,we don''t want to and by the way - Garden is for garden boy and woman cleaning the house and picking up after man is by choice...

Reply to Man
Posted by: Meno | 2010/05/31

If women can just stop nagging and sulking then we men will do what is required of us or assist where we can...

Reply to Meno
Posted by: Pal | 2010/05/31

Those are just men for you honey... I have actually given up and i do my own things, then he gets upset that why he wasnt informed..

I am tired of trying to figure them out.

Good Luck

Reply to Pal
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/31

Hmm. He surely doesn't sound like a genuinely caring person. Maybe he is more eager to be seen to help others, not out of a desire to be actually helpful, but because he wants other people to SEE him doing so and THINK of him as a helpful and nice guy ?
Apart from getting help for you, if that was what was needed, he could at least show sympathy and support.
How does he behave, and what does he expect, when HE is sick ?

Reply to cybershrink

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