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Question
Posted by: Nomalizo | 2010/09/01

A humiliating husband

I am married to this guy and we stay with her daughter of 14 years whenever we are just sitting because I want to get to know the daughter better and act like a mother to her, but I am telling you whenever we are just sitting his father will say something very funny which will make me feel very much humiliated to his daughter, but I have started that it is not right for him to do that because the daughter is becoming very disrespectful to me now so yesterday he started again with his funny acts, we were sitting and he started as if he was joking I told him infront of the daughter that I will humiliate him infront of the person that he thinks he is showing off, he was very angry and went to sleep, I did not want to talk bad but I have realised that he needs to be kept into order everytime he starts with the funny acts, please advice on what to do, when I went to bed he was fast asleep and I could see that he was not sleeping.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surely you need to have a calm but constructive and long discussion with your husband, maybe with the help of a marriage counsellor, to clarify how your new family is going to run. Yes, he has no business embarrassing you or putting you down in front of his daughter - maybe he doesn't realize how this looks or feels to you, maybe he does. He may feel he has an existing style of behaving with his daughter and that he doesn't need to change it now - but as you are married, you are now a part of the family, and your needs and feelings must be taken respectfully into account.
Yes, marriage counselling - maybe through FAMSA

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/01

Ask your husband what role he thinks you should be playing in his daughter''s life.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/01

Surely you need to have a calm but constructive and long discussion with your husband, maybe with the help of a marriage counsellor, to clarify how your new family is going to run. Yes, he has no business embarrassing you or putting you down in front of his daughter - maybe he doesn't realize how this looks or feels to you, maybe he does. He may feel he has an existing style of behaving with his daughter and that he doesn't need to change it now - but as you are married, you are now a part of the family, and your needs and feelings must be taken respectfully into account.
Yes, marriage counselling - maybe through FAMSA

Reply to cybershrink

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