Posted by: Scared | 2009-07-01

A huge fear ...

Dear CyberShrink

I am feeling very uncomfortable lately and not happy at all. I live with my dad and step-family (parents are divorced long ago) but the steps and I do not completely see eye-to-eye and we basically live past one another and almost never speak/interact. I have tried my best to keep positive relationships with them and build on that, but after every family meeting it goes well for a while again until it all starts fading away, then they expect me to talk to them all the time again. I am 21 years old, tired of doing this and really do not know what to do.

I don' t want to put too much stress onto my dad by complaining to him about how I feel as he has enough stress as it is, but I do also feel the need to tell him how fed-up I am of their attitudes and living with them. I cannot anymore.

My biggest fear is that something will happen to my dad and then I sit with the grumpy ones. I think of this more and more often lately and it is really starting to affect my studies and emotional well-being. I am a homosexual guy and it is also clear to me that my step mom hasn' t completely accepted me for who I am, which my dad knows. He seems to have accepted me for what I am and we still get along very well today. I just fear the day something bad has to happen to him and then I have nowhere to go/fear that there is going to be a big dilemma between myself and them.

I hate thinking of this and feeling this way, since I don' t want my dad to die so that I can inherit. I rather have him live longer than what I do, but this nonetheless bugs me a lot. I don' t trust the steps AT ALL and fear that they will be stepping on me entirely the day my dad is no longer there, in every way they possibly can. His health is quite fragile, which makes the matter more scary for me.

Please advise.

Thank you.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surely you can discus these concerns with your dad without burdening him to find urgent solutions ? He may have useful advice based on his longer experience of life, and could at least provide a sounding-board and a sympathetic ear ? It sounds as though you are expecting to live a solitary life, depending only on your steps and dad --- even before delving into more intimate or emotional relationships, why not start developing a number of friends ? And maybe you don't need full approval and recognition from your steps of your sexual preferences --- simply that they leave that to you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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