Our expert says:
Its very peculiar for anyone to be dying from an unknown cause ; she should be seeing a better quality of doctor, and discover the cause of whatever is troubling her and she may very well not be dying at all. And nobody has an operation for an unknown disease. Now, she may have any variety of illness and not choose to tell anyone at work what it is. Whatever the trouble, it does really sound as though she should be seeing a counsellor, but this will have to be her own decision and her own arrangement. The most one can do is to say calmly and pleasantly that you understand she may be unwell and under stress, and if there is something you can do to help, you'd like to be avaialable --- and leave it to her to decide
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