Our expert says:
As you can imagine, issues like this are not practical to research so as to get clear answers and guidance. But anyone with any sense would understand why this has made you feel uneasy and uncomfortable. I believe it is wise for the parent with custody to be cautious about allowing the other parent to change their mind about seeing the child, too readily.
The basic principle must be to work out what is in the best interests of the child, not the current, potentially changeable wishes of the parent who chose to abandon the child earlier on.
That he chose to ignore the child for the first 3 years of its life, and to start a different relationship so soon after the birth, strongly suggests he has had no genuine interest in the child for years now.
It is indeed odd that he apparently places so much emphasis on his new wife seeing the child, and one must wonder what is his motive. I wonder if this is what he wants or what his new wife wants.
What is the legal situation ? Do you have full custody of the child ? Does he have visitation rights ? Has he ever actually tried to get such rights ? If this comes to a legal matter, it sounds as though you have good grounds for opposing any proposal for him to be given visitation rights, and the court is also required to decide on the basis of the child's best interests. A major concern should be whether, having abandoned the child for so long, he would genuinely continue full and effective loving contact with the child, or change his mind again. It would surely be bad for the child to be required to form a relationship with an on-again-off-again stranger.
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