Our expert says:
Urs, I find this a very confusing story, and it must have been even more confusing to live through. let's see if I'm understanding any of this.
In the past you were in a 30-year relationship which apparently ended after your ex cheated on you. You apparently have some children ( ? from that relationship ) who are adults and concerned about you but not dependent on you.
You have more recently been in a relationship with the man you are currently troubled about. Whatever he says, he has a continuing and emotionally significant relationship with his ex, ( does he have the 4 kids you refer to ? and are they with her or with other women ? )
Though he seems to try to deny that there is anything active between him and his ex, you say he slept with her, though she is pregnant with another man's child.
You say you asked him to leave the house you shared, which is in your name, and that you repaid him the 120 thousand ran he had paid towards the house in cash ( ? -- do you carry or have in the home that amount of money in cash ? Why ? ) You say he gave up his job to be with you : why ? Why couldn't he stay with his job, and still be with you as much as anyone in a relationship would be ? We that perhaps a romantic excuse to stop working, and to live with you at your expense ? No wonder he was angry at you for spoiling his lazy fun.
He seemingly didn't bother to get another job, and stayed around at home playing games and doing whatever he enjoyed, while you were working.
Yet you say you love him very much and want him back, though you sensibly also have doubts about this.
Over-all, maybe you should arrange to see a personal counsellor to explore the complex issues involved here, and to start thinking more clearly about what is best for you an your daughter.
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