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Question
Posted by: | 2017/09/11

Orgasm and hysterectomy.

Good day, I am unable to have an orgasm during normal sex unless my husband stimulates me. Is this normal. I have recently had a hysterectomy (full abdominal one) and when we did have sex at 8 weeks it was enjoyable but very painful. Another problem is that my husband bites his nails and they are very rough, so hurts me when he does use his fingers . I did speak to him about it and he got upset, Now when he wants to have sex I automatically tense up cos i know his nails are going to hurt me inside, so he got upset and said that I do not enjoy sex no more. But its not that. am just scared to be hurt. He also works away for 10 weeks at a time and is home for 3 weeks at a time. Please help as to what I should do. Thx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist
- 2017/09/15

You are perfectly normal. The majority of women (about 70%) do not have an orgasm during sexual intercourse without any extra stimulation. 


You need to sit your husband down and calmly tell him again that his nails hurt you to the point where you now expect pain in stead of pleasure during lovemaking. I suggest that he uses a rubber glove or condom (with lube on top of his finger) to take care of this issue. He really needs to stop doing this as you will definitely develop an aversion to lovemaking if you continue to expect and experience pain during sex. 

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2017/09/13

good idea about the manicure before sex. Also look into introducing toys into the activity, like a vibrator so he doesnt have to use his hands, you will be amazed at how pleasurable it can be, he might like it also.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/09/13

Thanks so much

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/09/12

There is nothing wrong with you. I had one 2 years ago and it is trauma on your body. Remember something major has been removed from your body and it is now trying to figure out how to function properly. You really have to give yourself time to heal because you are NOT out of the danger zone just yet. You can still damage your wounds from the inside and it can rip apart. You will have to make your husband understand this process(it is a long process)unfortunately. Instead of you having huge augments about his nails and hard skin rather invest in a good manicure set. Let him know that you will enjoy it so much more if his finger nails is smooth as it feels sensual. Give him a manicure then you suggestively take if smooth fingers and slowly and playfully suck on them. Slowly take his hand and guide it to your lady parts while looking at him all hot and bothered. Show him how you like it in a very loving wife manner. You will have to take the lead here girl. Fake it until you make it. Seduce your man it all starts in the mind.

Reply to Anonymous | 1 comment (hide)
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/09/13

Thank you

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