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Question
Posted by: | 2016/08/15

My marriage is falling apart

I am so unhappy with my marriage, married for 6 years with 2 children 1 and 4 year old. over the years we have always had difference of opinion with most things like financial and lots of other stuff in the recent months our problems have gone worse, but we still love each but the love is not enough, I have no idea how to deal with our problems, he is very stubborn and I try as hard myself to make this marriage work ,I have agreed to go for counselling the consult is R1000 I just don't think we in a position to spend that sort of money for an hour. What are our alternative, I'm so alone and hurt not sure what to do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2016/08/16

That sounds like rather a steep charge for a consultation, especially if this is someone qualified only as a counsellor ( honourable though that is as a profession ) and not as a psychologist or psychiatrist.  But it sounds as though the need for counselling is significant and the cost of not working with a counsellor could be higher.
However,  if you needed a new car and the first place you checked had nothing cheaper than a million rand, wouldn't you look around for a better price, rather than choosing to just walk everywhere from here on ?
Ask around, check with a reliable source of advice like FAMSA should should be able to suggest a number of counsellors reachable for you, at better prices than that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/08/17

contact lifeline, childline or the local university and see what services they can offer you.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/08/16

Try childline and lifeline and the Family life centre as well. if you are working ask your HR is they have preferential rates for counselors. Also ask your insurance providers if they provide access to counseling since some do have it as an added bonus. Also check with the universities in your area that may have a counseling service as well as your local social work center.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/08/16

Yes, I agree these people rip you off with their ridiculous rates. Rather go see your pastor or like Anon recommend SADAG above. You mention LOVE, that is a positive. Why not suggest both of you write a letter to each other and put down everything that is a miss in your relationship. Your fears, your wants, your needs from each other. Then you both go and read each others letter in private with an open mind. See where both of you lack and can work on it. Come together and have an open honest talk about what was said in those letters, do not interrupt each other really listen and do not go on the defence. You know sometimes it's small things that turned into big deals that can be fixed. Communication is very important. Take it day by day and keep working on your short comings. Nothing worth while ever comes easy.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/08/16

I think have a chat to the SADAG first maybe they can help (you phone them it is free). SA Anxiety and Depression Group. They can also refer you to counsellors in your area that cost a lot less. Helped me.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/08/16

Is R1000 an hour really that much considering this is your marriage you're talking about? It's the rest of your life. If you can't bring it by, possibly try Famsa or your church. Also check if your medical aid won't cover the counsellor. But your really do need counselling if you want to save your marriage and change it into a happy healthy relationship

Reply to Anonymous

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