Our expert says:
Just let go. It sounds, from your description, that the central problem is your jealousy : he hurts you and causes you misery : but you'd rather put up with that, than let him go away and make someone else miserable. And then you seem to have convinced yourself that you are unable to change this wholly self-defeating bad habit.
It's not always easy but it is possible to change such bad habits. Try to find a psychologist with the skills to offer CBT ( Cognitive-Behavior Therapy ), a specific form of counselling, which can be especially effective in situations like this, where it is a person's own bad habits of thought and behaviour which cause their troubles in life. This needs to be approached like a heavy smoker, who knows how damaging it is to smoke, learning to give up cigarettes ; including getting involved in productive and wholesome activities that have nothing to do with this guy, and deliberately switching to these when you start what you already recognize as the harmful patterns of thinking about him.
Think through this absurd sense of jealousy : why can't you celebrate when he wanders off to cause misery to some other woman ? Do you really feel that all that pain belongs to you, and that you must grab it and keep hold of it ? When you hear that he has gone to some other poor woman, feel sorry for her, by all means, but don't allow yourself to feel you must somehow snatch him back.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.